updating this blog.

Now that the hectic pace has slowed down and I'm coming back down to earth from the heaven I've been to which is Villa Diodati, I've decided to do a bit of update on stuff I've neglected to blog about while I was in the busy rush to finish the costume/dress, write reviews, submit my columns, and pack a balikbayan box for pickup. All these in the weeks right before I had to go to Villa Diodati.

I've been wanting to blog and thank The Chatelaine for sending me my very own copy of The Blind Chatelaine's Keys. This is Eileen Tabios's latest masterpiece, and I want to express how much I admire Eileen's virtuousity as well as her prolificity. You can also get a copy of this book from Amazon.com. Pretty cool, eh?

Last month's Munting Nayon featured a short review of The Light Sang As It Left Your Eyes. I love how Eileen continues to be fresh and innovative and inspiring in her work. And even if my own body of work consists predominantly of the speculative, poetry will always have a special place in my heart, and I'll continue to buy and read poetry because honestly where would we all be without poetry in the world?

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Another thing I've neglected to post on here is the announcement about the International Issue of Weird Tales Magazine. This issue which includes my story, The Wordeaters, also contains another story written by a pinoy expat. I am so looking forward to getting my contrib copies as well as my subscriber copy. I remember sending this story to Luisa Igloria, and it was her words of encouragement that kept me sending out this piece and believing in it. I mean, if an award-winning poet and teacher thinks it's good, then someone else must surely share that opinion.

Heartfelt thanks to Ann VanderMeer. She is an amazing woman whom I'd love to meet someday.

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Coming back from Villa Diodati, hubby and I had a long sitdown talk. Our conclusion was that I should try my darndest best to get into one of the Clarion workshops. And yes, this is a dream I've had somewhere in the back of my head, but what with having a toddler and a school-going kid, I had sort of shelved this ambition because it seemed like an impossible dream. Suddenly, it looks possible. Of course, I still have to write a couple of kick-ass stories that will just convince the panel to take a chance on me. But yes, Villa Diodati has challenged and encouraged me and I realize that I see it now as being possible as before Villa Diodati, I'd sort of just seen myself as someone who tries their darndest best to make sense of story with the available tools I've got, but who really is totally clueless and hasn't got a chance in the world.

I am thinking of this woman who told me that I would never get far writing in English because Filipinos will never be able to write good enough to satisfy native english speakers. While that comment devastated my younger self, I did take that as a challenge, and I suppose it was that comment resonating in the back of my head that's pushed me all these years to improve and to become better than myself because I had to prove that "yes, the Filipino can."

I wish I remembered who the woman was, but I certainly owe her a debt of gratitude. Without those words, I would never have challenged myself or set such stringent rules on my own writing. I know there's still lots of room for improvement. There are still tons of things I don't know and I sometimes get confused when people talk about plot arc and character arc...and all that...but I absorb everything...I absorb and think and read and do my darndest best to reach down and dig deep and be more than what I am today. And I will accept all the criticism and advice I can get because God knows, I do need it.

So yes, I am going to finish that novel...yes, I am going to work on getting into Clarion, and I've got more incentive now to keep going because I can hardly quit right now that I'm in the middle of the game. I mean, what message would that send to my boys?

Well...this is a pretty hefty post, but I'm in this state of mind where I think I have to say it out loud because this means I can't back out and say...oh, that was just me talking out loud. ha, ha...

Wish me luck as I prep my application stories.

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