Purpose-driven Shopping and shopping sins

When I first came to The Netherlands, my sister-in-law took me to town because coming from The Philippines, I had no idea how cold winter could be in The Netherlands. Thank goodness no one believed my protestations that I found the weather absolutely great.

That first shopping trip was a revelation, a bit of a shock, and now when I look back, I realize it was an effective and efficient system that saved both time and money.

Here's a demo of how we went shopping that first time:

Sister-in-law: Would you like to see the shops?

Me: Oh yes.

Sister-in-law: What do you need? Something warm?

Me: Uh, I think so....I'm not sure.

Sister-in-law: Okay, I will show you good shops where clothes are not expensive. Come, we walk.

(Back then, I still hadn't learned to ride a bike. Needless to say, the Women's bikes are way to high for me.)

So off we went in military fashion. Talk about pacing, left-right, left-right.

My goodness, I thought. People in Military training could learn a good deal from my sister-in-law when it comes to the word double-time.

By the time we reached town, I didn't feel any need for warm clothes. I was just soooo warm. But okay, we were here to shop. I perked up a bit, because I love windowshopping...and well...I was armed with hubby's cash card, and had been given the liberty to buy.

Yes!

As if following a map inside her head, my sister-in-law led me through a maze of streets pointing to landmarks with quick, staccatto descriptions.

That is the church. Here is the shop. Here is expensive shop (in other words, we don't go there), and here is cheap shop (in other words, we shop here).

We entered a shop with a bewildering array of clothing my mind boggled a bit. What could I possibly need in this shop. But this display didn't throw my sister-in-law out of stride. She headed for a rack of longsleeved blouses, and thick knitted cardigans.

"This," she said. "This? Your size? Yes, I think this is your size. Go and pay. Fit at home, if it's not good you can always bring back."

Huh--what? What about browsing? What about feeling texture and looking for color?

Nevertheless, I obeyed because my sister-in-law was checking her watch. Today, I understand why. She had taken time out in between bringing her daughter to school and lunch. So, she was checking to see that our shopping spree did not exceed the allotted time she'd allowed herself.

With military strides, we ventured forth to the next shop where I was handed a pair of jeans in my size. Here, I was allowed to fit the jeans, and after paying, we exitted the shops. My sister-in-law then heaved a sigh of relief. She asked me if I wanted to buy anything else.

By this time, I was so flustered by the guerilla tactics applied to our shopping expedition that I said "no, no. I have everything I need."

We then headed back home and she left right after that.

**

Another shopping expedition later, I went out with her and her children. This time, we were shopping for the kids. And yes, with the same military efficiency...a quick check at the collars for size, a look at the tag for the prize. If it was too expensive, the kids had to choose something else. I remember feeling so remorseful when her son was not allowed to buy a Nike shirt because she considered it too expensive.

"No, no," she said to me. "Later, if he wants to buy brand name shirts, he must work for them."

Which had me going..."uh-huh".

**

Looking at this, nine years afterwards, I see the wisdom of my sister-in-law's actions. Her children are all down-to-earth and practical, and they are probably not the type of young people who run up huge bills on their mobile phones because in the first place, they had to work hard in order to buy themselves mobile phones.

While they were provided with everything they needed, at an early age, they learned that money isn't just there for the spending.

**

These days, I'm learning the value of purpose-driven shopping. I still have days when I meander through the shops with the sole purpose of entertaining myself, but most of my shopping trips are planned like a general going out into the field of battle.

Before going out, I write down in detail which shop I'm going to and what I'm going to buy there, and how much it's going to cost me (+/-). If I am going for groceries, I write down the exact number of items I need, and what brand. I've learned that buying just exactly what you need means throwing away less food.

Two weeks ago, I opened our refrigerator and viewed the contents with happiness. Nothing wasted. The ref was almost empty of everything that had been bought a week before. This meant, almost everything I'd bought had been used, nothing had been thrown away.

This tells me that in terms of regular weekday shopping lists, mine is an effective one. I buy only what I need and exactly in the amount that I need.

This past week though, we've been celebrating Joel Jan's birthday, and it worries me that even though I'd pared down my shopping to what I thought was a minimum there are still lots of left overs in the ref.

Looking in there, I cringe when I realize I'd bought two cups of salad spread which will probably end up in the waste can because there is no way I can eat my way through those two cups before the stuff expires. I cringe when I see the exotic cheese (still in its packaging but never used) and the smoked sausage which I thought was a staple at every Dutch party, but which never got eaten because I'd made those little lumpia shanghai rolls.

**

There is something hugely wrong about splurging on a one day feast for a child who barely eats any of it, and on food which doesn't get eaten.

This is one place where I commit huge shopping sins. Celebration shopping is a budget problem I'll need to work on and overcome.

**