Just can't get over my luck at getting that couch.

The Madonna and Child painting on the wall is by artist, Boy Cornejo.

That's Kermit dangling from the lamp. He's lost one eye, but I still love him.

On the table, a carved wooden bowl from Banaue, Ifugao. I put some beautiful candles in it and circled the candles with pine cones, christmas balls and plastic leaves from the Philippines. It looks quite cozy with the candles burning.

some ideas for the holiday season

1. When buying toys for children, looking at secondhand places like ebay or online shops might end up cheaper than buying them from a toystore. A good idea is to check out how much the toy would cost on the shelves and do some comparison online before purchasing the thing.

2. Buying during the sale season and keeping a reserve of gifts somewhere in the attic is a good idea. I have a friend who does this regularly and I've started to adopt this method. You'll be amazed at the savings. For instance, I remember buying a bag for five euro on sale, a few weeks later, the same bag was priced up to 25 euro. That's a savings of twenty euro.

3. If you're a handy person, arts and crafts are in this year. I have a friend who's really handy with the knitting needles and she makes this beautiful scarves that look like they've come out of some exclusive shop.

4. Continuing number three, if you're handy with the sewing machine, there are loads of things you can make. Back home, I had a friend who used to sew these carry-all bags. They're quite simple to make, it's just a matter of cutting out two rectangles sewing them together and attaching a handle. If you're extra creative, you can add beads and sequins to give the bag that extra bling.

5. Before you go on a buying rampage for holiday decor, check the decorations in storage. You might be buying something that you've already got or that you don't need. Be creative when arranging your decor. Try mixing pine cones with christmas balls in a wooden tray. They make a nice centerpiece for the table. Place tealights in glass holders and group them together in a tray. The glass holders don't even have to all be in the same color.

6. Look to nature for decorating ideas. A tip picked up from one of those home making magazines says to go for a walk in the forest and pick a beautifully shaped branch. Paint the branch in white or in whatever color you wish, place it against a contrasting background and hung some lights or christmas balls on it.

7. Consider buying an art bag and giving it away as a gift. It's for a good cause and costs only five euro per bag. ( for more info go to: http://www.stopaidsnow.nl)

8. Give practical presents. It's not necessary to give kids loads of toys as presents. Giving them something they need such as winter gloves, socks, pens or notebooks (not the electronic kind) will teach kids to value and appreciate whatever they get.

9. Give a gift of time or talent. One of the Dutch mothers showed me this set of little vouchers her daughters had given her for her birthday. Each voucher volunteered a service that would be granted when their mom handed in the voucher.

For instance: This voucher entitles the holder to an evening of babysitting (from name of giver)
or: This voucher entitles the recipient to a homecooked meal upon request (from name of giver)
and for the writers/poets among us: Perhaps a poem or a story written especially for the recipient would mean a lot more than something bought at a brandname store.

Be creative. There are tons of ideas floating in the ether. It's just a matter of catching hold of them ;)

Samuel on our new couch with Papa's bass guitar...unplugged.

events and thoughts

Our weekend's settling down and except for going to the birthday of our neighbour's son, there's little planned on the agenda today. A good thing as the entire week has been quite a bustle of trying to get things done and arranging for pickup of various goods.

Friday was really exciting as I travelled to The Hague with Samuel and met Crista Ermiya. Such a lovely lady and her boyfriend's such a nice guy. I really liked them a lot and I hope we'll continue to keep in touch.

From The Hague, I went on to Leiden where I met up with Jan who was returning home from his two week work-related trip in Czech Republic. Samuel was quite excited about seeing his Dad again. He had this look on his face that could easily be interpreted as saying: So, there you are. Where have you been all this time?

Something really sweet is how Jan's acquired the habit of "Pasalubong" buying. He came home with toys for the boys, chocolate for our good neighbour, and a book for me.

Saturday turned out to be one of the most hectic days of our lives together. There was no sleeping until late in the morning. We were both up at about seven o'clock, shoving furniture around and clearing a path for the arrival of our /new/ couch.

And what a couch it is. It's sitting in my living room, giving the room such a sumptuous and luxurious feel that I can't help turning around and staring at it again. Never mind that my ironing board's standing on one side of the room with baskets of clothes that need to be ironed...if you look towards the side of the room where the couch is...well...it just exudes that stepped out of the catalogue air.

Where it came from, they barely sat on it. I doubt that will be the case in this house ;) Joel's in absolute awe of the couch.

Lovely couch, Mom. He says.

But the couch wasn't the only thing that got picked up yesterday. Jan's been wanting to learn how to play the Bass Guitar and he managed to get himself a lovely Ibanez bass off of Marktplaats. He did have to travel quite a bit to pick it up, but he was still in time to pick up the space station I'd bought for Joel's Sinterklaas surprise.

Hence, the usefulness of planning and organizing trips ahead of time comes in handy.

Before we launched on this buying spree, we did set a budget. I had set a budget limit of 25o euro for a couch, Jan had set a limit of 150 for his bass guitar, and for the boys I'd set a limit of about 50 euro for presents.

We did spend 250 on the couch, but we got Jan's bass at 95 and Joel's present cost us 30. If I can arrange for the pickup of that cute little car for Samuel, that'll set me off another 10.

Being transparent about expenditure is important to this blog. The numbers are personalia, I know. Who needs to know how much a couch costs anyway?

My point is, sometimes we are so hung up on the cost of things. I remember this character I met at a party who somehow managed to drop hints about how expensive her shoes were or where she'd bought her coat (which gave you the idea that it was really expensive), and I remember sitting there with Samuel on my lap, feeling quite small while she fussed over another guest mom who was dressed to the nines and who had top of the line baby luggage with her.

What I loved about the dressed to the nines mom was how when the other lady said: Oh but your baby looks so nice. I bet you buy his clothes at (insert brandname) store.

The top of the nines mom said, No, I don't. I buy his clothes at the HEMA.

Which made me feel really warm and glowy towards the top of the nines mom and her no-nonsense, non-elitist attitude towards material things.

I think of how we're often pushed into purchasing something because of a need to prove our ability to buy. Sometimes, we are so busy with the "image" we project that we forget what's really important in life.

I sat there thinking of how what really matters isn't what others perceive of us. It's not "image" that counts in life, it's relationships and feeling good about yourself. As the Dutch say, "zit je lekker in je vel".

In the list of life's priorities, relationships come first. And for us, this means family and friends...and the necessary trips home in order to help our children understand that they are children of two cultures, and that's something money can't buy.

The World of Bidding and giftgiving

December has got to be one of the most expensive months of the year. On the 5th of December, we celebrate Sinterklaas (Saint Nicholas's birthday). It's the day for surprises and giftgiving in The Netherlands. This is all preceded by about a week or two of letting the children set their shoe in front of the door or under the fireplace with them waking up in the morning to find a little present or some sweets in it. It can be pretty stressful for some kids as the presence of a present means they're in the Saint's good books, and the absence of a present means they're on the naughty list.

Enter, number one expense on the holiday list: Gifts.

Some parents go to the shops and spend outrageous amounts of cash on something they're kids will play with and then forget about. Joel's been dropping hints about what he would probably like for Sinterklaas, but I thought a nice surprise would be the best way to celebrate this season. So, off I went to search on my favorite shopping forum (marktplaats.nl). I was quite pleased to win the bidding on a Space Station lego set complete with sounds and lights. It's well within my budget, it's something I know Joel will love, and being LEGO, it inspires creativity and wild imagination. Add to this, it's a novelty as Joel has never seen this in any of the toyshops (a big plus). Who else but the good saint would bring something not available in NL shops?

Samuel's present is really nice. I still have to pick it up, but it's a cute little car with seating support that can be removed when he can stand on his own. There's also a sort of curved platform to place under the wheels of the car, which transforms it into a sort of seesaw. I can just imagine how delighted he'll be with this present. Jan laughed when I told him about it.

"I can just imagine him whizzing across the living room with a smile on his face," Jan says.

So, if I'm buying these things, how do I know I'm saving money on them? First of all, I browse shop catalogues and try to find out how much these items cost at new price. Then, when I look on marktplaats, I have an idea of what kind of item I am looking for, and I have a budget set inside my head so I don't get carried away by bidding and bid way above my budget. There's so much on offer at Marktplaats, that if I lose the bidding on an item, I can look again a couple of days later or a week later, and find something similar to that item.

So far, my experiences in buying via Marktplaats have been positive ones.

Looking at my budget table, I'm quite pleased to see that the boys' presents are well within my budget. Quite a far cry from the days when I used to blow a hundred euro on gifts for Joel Jan. How often do we mistake the value of the present as being representative of the love behind it?

This year hasn't been a year for buying huge presents, but I think this is the year where we've really sat around the table and laughed and talked. I have to smile thinking of how productive this year has been in terms of me telling Joel stories and Joel learning to tell his own stories.

We're a team, Joel says to me.

Yup, we are a team ;)

the writer's economics

The fact is, that while we keep on writing and submitting work, the equation rarely balances out.
This year, due to the arrival of my baby boy, story production has been at an all time low since I started writing again in 2005.

Stats time:

Stories sent out this year: 9
Stories rejected: 3
Stories accepted: 3
Stories pending: 3
Poems submitted: 15
Poems accepted: 7


Not a bad equation. Considering how nine of my poetic memoir essays have been taken up in the book, Hope Away from Home, to be released by OMF Lit Philippines. My name appears for the first time on the cover of a book. Under the main author's name to be sure, but still it's on the front page. *glows*

Looking at the stats, I realize how badly I need to reorganize my files. Maybe I should start opening new folders with year dates on them. Except, when does one say a story's finished? Some of my stories started a year ago and ended this year.

Economics: The number of stories I actually got paid for is 2.

Moment of thanks: My thanks to Nanay whose insistence that I keep on at the Conservatory when I wanted to stop resulted in me having a sideline that supports my number one "bisyo" (books). My thanks to friends, e-friends, and loved ones.

Books acquired this year: about 20 (Yes Lily, one week won't be enough to read them all)

Subscription renewed: Interzone (the only sf mag I subscribe to. I might try Black Static or Asimov's next year. Sounds interesting, but I'll take out a sample copy first.) I'm also looking for a new mag to subscribe to next year. Preferably not of the specfic genre.

The truth about rejections is this: I've got three stories in circulation that I consider my best work, and so far, these are the stories garnering the most rejections. If the first story comes back, I'll be one short of ten rejections on it. And the second story has garnered 5, whereas the third has had three so far. I'm still quite hopeful though. So far the comments on these stories have been quite positive, they've mostly reached the final round of voting...so there must be something good about them or they wouldn't have gotten that far.

I'll be making up my christmas list soon. Hard to believe November's almost over. Good Lord, the Christmas rush will be upon us before we know it.

For the boys, I've decided to do my shopping on Marktplaats where I've spotted a space station lego set that's no longer available in the shops. Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping I can surprise my eldest with it.

Monday

Everyday, I start with a list of things that need to be done, and as the day progresses each thing that gets done gets ticked off the list.

Today being Monday:

housekeeping:

--laundry (wash and iron)
--garbage (sort and dispose)
--downstairs (vacuum floor/stairs and organize papers)

creative:

--write that book review
--work on that stranded story

work:

--study that piece I need to teach to my student

Keeping to a Budget:

I had quite a pleasant surprise when I checked my personal account and discovered that I still had cash over. Looking at my spending habits for this past month, I realize I've managed to keep my personal spending down simply by regulating my visits to the shops and by asking myself what it was that I really needed.

It helps too that we haven't been to Burger King or McDonald's or one of those burger joints. Dutch folks are pretty money-savvy and I think this explains why a good number of Dutch people still don't eat at burger joints. Most folks I know eat at home or take sandwiches with them wherever they go. It's not unusual to see a Dutchman or a Dutchwoman chomping on a whole wheat sandwich on the train. It's healthy in more ways than one.