minimal to the max

For the love of poets and poetry

2009-03-06T00:34:00.001-08:00

Here's the latest book I've ordered from Amazon.

Luisa Igloria is an award-winning poet, born and raised in the Philippines, she is an associate professor in the MFA creative writing program at the Old Dominion University. I interviewed Luisa Igloria a couple of years ago when her prize-winning collection, Trill and Mordent came out. Trill and Mordent has been picked as the book of the month for April poetry readers. There's a lovely audio review of it over at Luisa's blog. And yes, everything the reviewer says about the book is true.

In support of Filipino poets and their poetry, I am giving away a free copy of either Trill and Mordent or Juan Luna's Revolver. Leave your comment either here or at my livejournal to take part in this lottery. Results at the end of the month.

2009-03-04T09:03:00.000-08:00

I've decided to come back to using this blog as a notebook for my thoughts (just as I used the other blog to map out my thoughts pre-Hope away from Home).

I'm thinking of a lot of things, and as this blog is less visited than lj, I think this is an ideal place to wrestle with issues that are important to me as a person and as a writer.

readings

2009-03-04T08:43:00.000-08:00

There's something funny about this evolution thing as a writer. I've been reading Kelley Eskridge's work and I was just so moved by her story Dangerous Space which is nominated for the Nebula. If you visit Kelley's website, there is a link to a number of insightful essays on gender, fiction, and her love story. I've gone ahead and ordered myself a copy of Kelley's short story collection. I want to read her novel too, but will probably have to wait a bit before ordering that, as Amazon informs me they do not deliver this product to my country.

I've also been reading John Kessel's "The Baum Plan for Financial Independence and other stories". The book is free-t0-download from Small Beer Press, but I chose to buy myself a hard copy as I love my hard copy. Also, I think it's good to support small presses. I really do. John Kessel's "Stories for Men" is an amazing read, and it's no wonder to me that this story won the James Tiptree Jr. Award. John Kessel's "Pride and Prometheus" is also nominated for the Nebula's.

Ruth Nestvold is also up for the Nebula's. Her story, Mars: A Traveller's Guide is in the list of final nominations. Mars is a very clever story. It's engaging and entertaining and I enjoyed reading it a lot.

Here's a link to the final ballot for the Nebula Award.

##

Now that above shout-out is done, I want to write about how reading the works of this various authors have influenced me. In particular, I found myself very much affected by Eskridge's "Dangerous Space", Kessel's "Stories for Men", and Nestvold's "Looking Through Lace". Looking at these three stories, what binds them together is not only the way in which they question and look at gender, but also the emotional depth and the way in which they open up their characters and in this way open up themselves and allow their vulnerability to show.

There's plenty of food for thought there as I reconnect with a lot of things that I allowed myself to shelve away. I think that John Kessel is very right when he says that we should write what we like and think about publication later.

2009-03-04T08:35:00.000-08:00

There's this clip of a Ryan Cayabyab song that's lingered in my mind all these years:

#

I was in highschool when I started working in slum areas. At first, I joined experienced outreach workers who gathered children together in a central place within the slum area to teach them songs, and tell them stories. Later, I had my own area where I taught children. This place was called "Paraiso".

In Paraiso, there was a little girl called Marilag. Marilag was a thalidomide baby. She was born with stumps for legs and her arms and fingers were deformed. She was the most beautiful little girl in Paraiso.

Marilag's mother was a hard-working woman. She washed and ironed clothes for a living. She was also very strict and it took time before I gained her trust. I guess, she was afraid for her daughter. With good reason. Even today, I still remember Marilag. She had the most beautiful smile. She always sat in the door of their house and when I arrived in the street, she would shout: Here comes Ate Chie. (Ate meaning older sister). I would carry her in my arms to our gathering place. Each year, she grew heavier.

The last time I saw Marilag, she was in her teens. I had gotten married and I wanted to see her before I left The Philippines. They were still living in one of the small streets crowded with houses made out of plywood and corrugated iron. She showed me clippings of an actor whom she admired. She was happy because she'd gotten prosthetic legs from the orthopedic hospital, and she was learning to walk on them. She dreamed of someday getting married and having children of her own.

When I went back home a couple of years ago, I heard that they'd moved back to the province. They didn't leave a forwarding address.

I am still looking for Marilag.

#

When you have been to a place like Paraiso, there are things you will never forget. Each man, each woman, each child has a story. That's a story that we can't romanticize or bagatellize. It just is that way.

#

Teaching a Pink Elephant How to Ski

2009-02-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

My short story, Teaching a Pink Elephant How to Ski, has been published over at Fantasy Magazine. If you have time, please feel free to drop by and read. Fantasy Magazine publishes a lot of great stuff and getting published in there is like another dream come true. I'm particularly happy about this publication as this piece is my tribute to the Villa Diodati workshop in Nice.

There are some nice comments in the comment thread which makes me really happy, because that's what the Pink Elephant was all about. Making people smile and be happy. Charles Tan says some nice things about Teaching a Pink Elephant How to Ski. And reads it right when he says this isn't meant to be a revolutionary piece (no, not at all), but rather a light and enjoyable read.

Yup. That elephant just got a-hold of the absurd part of my brain and wouldn't let go till I had written her pink self onto paper. She was born just to make people smile :)

Bookshelf

2009-01-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

Interzone 220 just dropped through the mail slot. I can't wait to read this issue. The TOC reads like a treat, and that cover is just stunning. has a story in this issue. I'm looking forward to reading that. A friend gave me my first year's subscription to Interzone and since then, I've been sort of hooked on the thing. There have been up and down moments, but each time I start to wonder whether it's worth keeping the subscription, they publish something awesome that makes me change my mind and decide to keep it after all.

**
Reading shelf:

I've just finished reading Elizabeth Bear's "All the Windwracked Stars". I've only read the Jenny Casey novels, but this one was just begging to be read. I'm so glad I bought it. This novel just blew my breath away. I like how Bear doesn't shy away from the hurt her characters have to endure. I like that her endings aren't neat and happily ever after.

In this first month of the new year, I also read Nalo Hopkinson's "Brown Girl in the Ring". I plan to go and order more of Hopkinson's books. I love how her heritage shines through in this novel, and this is what I want to do in my own work too. I'm conscious of how I bring my cultural heritage with me, and I'll be very honest and say that for all the bad press my third-world home country gets, I am proud to be a Filipino.

Ahmed A. Khan's short story collection, "Sparks". I'm reading through this one bit at a time and will write down my thoughts on it soon. One reason I love the short form is how easy it is for the mom like me to get my shot of lit before heading on to the next mom job.

Brett Savory's short story collection, "No Further Messages". I like the energy in Savory's writing. So much so, I've ordered myself a copy of his first novel. I also like that he's offered to sign it too. Very cool. In case you haven't guessed yet, I am a sucker for signed stuff.

Eileen Tabios's latest poetry book, "The Blind Chatelaine's Keys". Anyone who knows me knows how much I love Eileen's work, and how much I treasure her for helping me find my way back to poetry. I am still conscious of my own shortcomings when it comes to writing poetry, but I also recognize how poetry is an essential part of my writing self. Eileen's approach to poetry as an engagement and as a way of life appeals to me a lot. I love how she sees poetry in everything. There is an intensity to her work that reaches out of the page and grabs the reader. It's hard for me to explain and while we may try to dissect what it is about a certain poem that works for us, the truth is...poetry that works just feels right somehow. Saying why may sometimes be necessary, but if you ask me, all that dissection is extraneous.

"Rice" is a book I'm reading which details the history of rice, includes legends/myths associated with rice, various practices during the harvest and planting seasons. I do know a lot about rice, but it's nice to read through this and discover how other provinces in the Philippines relate to rice.

"Mangyan Treasures" a compilation of the Ambahan of the Mangyan Tribe compiled and translated by Antoon Postma. This is one book I will always cherish. I met Antoon Postma in the Philippines and he seemed a lot more Filipino than Dutch. There's an intensity in his passion for the Filipino heritage that I wish all Filipinos would catch.

I've got a load of books in read, to read, and in order status. Can't remember them all right now. I realize how much I need to be educated in terms of the sf&f publications. So, I'm reading as much of the free online fiction as I can, and chasing down recommended readings. I really enjoyed writing this post. I am a true bookworm and the part I miss most about being at home is the talk that went on at the dinner table. This usually revolved around the books we'd read or were reading. Hopefully I'll be able to duplicate those booktalk moments with my kids as they grow older.

celebrating christmas

2008-12-25T11:05:00.000-08:00

Took the boys over to Grandpa and Grandma's house where we cooked dinner for them. Slices of salmon with fried gambas and stir-fried veggies. Yum. Nice and light. None of that overstuffed feeling, which is a good sign.

Simple Christmas celebration. Under our borrowed tree, we parked Samuel's dream car. A Lightning McQueen thing that makes sounds when buttons are pressed. He loves the thing so much, it's gone everywhere with us today. A plus was getting this car at half-price because I went to the shop at the right day...the day when this car was on a day special. Cool, huh.

Yesterday, I bought a paper from a homeless person. I stood there thinking of how misfortune can happen no matter how hard we struggle and fight against it. Buying the paper from the homeless person may not provide a roof over his/her head, but it will at least help them in some little way. And, at least these people are trying.

Earlier this year, I bought a paper from a homeless guy in Utrecht. He was very honest about why he'd become homeless. But he was trying. And he was very proud of having written some poetry and that the poetry he'd written was published in the paper he was selling. It wasn't bad either. I know, I read the poem.

Anyway, all these homeless people, made me think of how lucky we are to have a roof over our heads and of how it's quite easy to be misled into thinking that christmas joy is all about presents. Truly, it's all about sharing time with those who are dear to us.

No Playstation 3's, no X-Boxes, no DS's, no Wii's were bought by this household this month. When I look at the generations of game consoles, I have to think of how society is so brainwashed into believing that the newest is the best...when the truth is...there will always be something else that is the best next year. So why waste your money on expendable crap when what makes kids really happy is time spent together.

updating the blog

2008-12-15T13:49:00.000-08:00

It's been quite a while since I last updated this blog. I was on slow dialup for a while as we were in the process of moving servers.

Updates:

My review of Lone Star Stories #30 has been published on The Fix.

While I was offline, I made my first professional sale. I sold my Pink Elephant Story to Fantasy Magazine. I was tickled pink when I got this news. Needless to say, I'm really looking forward to seeing the story on there as this is my tribute to my fellow Villa Diodatians.

I've kept up the momentum of writing one story every other week, and worked on my Clarion Application stories. My story package is ready for submission. I'm hoping I qualify for some scholarship, as that will be a really huge help. I also think I've really got to work really hard at selling more stories. Ha, ha, ha.

I'm quite pleased with my application stories. One of them is a tribal fantasy mix. It combines the Ambahan of the Mangyan with the culture/language of the Ifugao. Pretty Philistine (I know), but that's why I'm a specfic writer.

One bummer was my laptop breaking down for no reason at all. We took it back to the shop as it's still under warranty. Hopefully they'll keep true to their word and have it done by this week. I miss the danged thing.

Gym stuff: I've been on this sports program for almost ten weeks, and I'm proud to say I've lost 4.5 kilos. I'm going for the slow and steady thing. Color me turtle. Someday, I will be at my preferred weight of 60 kilos.

I've been trying to resign-up for the Flips group (since our email addy is now changed), but keep getting fault messages. What am I doing wrong?

thinking of christmas

2008-11-21T08:10:00.001-08:00

I've spent almost the entire day looking for a place to celebrate christmas. And by this I mean, somewhere that isn't The Netherlands. It's really funny how this celebrating christmas has turned into some sort of obsession...

Then, I found this article: http://www.travelblog.org/Asia/Philippines/Manila/blog-340493.html

And I knew why it was so important... I miss home...

I miss the get-togethers, the christmas carolling, the jingles, the cheer that seems to infect everyone, the being with your family and loved ones...

I miss all of that...

And the thing is, no matter what I do...

All of that just isn't here.

what happened in our little town

2008-11-21T03:38:00.001-08:00

Lynn Austin came to our little town yesterday. Who's Lynn Austin? She's an internationally bestselling christian author who I interviewed sometime ago for The Sword Review. I did a voice and mail interview with her and she was very warm, gracious and accommodating.

The last time we talked, she'd asked me what I was working on. I told her I was working on a poetic memoir. I said that I doubted it's marketability, but well it was what I had to write anyway and that was more important than marketting. To which, she said that when it got published I should send her a copy. A year after that conversation, OMF Lit, Philippines picked up Echoes from my New Home and included these pieces in Hope Away from Home.

Seeing as that interview was in 2006, I doubted that Lynn would remember me. Still, she was coming to my town and I knew I had to see her. I brought her my last copy of Hope Away from Home. (We had shipped over a good number of books for the launching in February, but all those books have sold and I had only one left.)

There was a very long line of people at the bookshop. Later, the bookshop owner told us that there had been about a hundred people that evening. They had sold more than a hundred books, and there were still a lot of books that they'd held back for people who'd phoned in and asked for a signature. (author appearances really make for sales, don't they?)

I think I irritated the woman behind me with my constant looking towards the entrance. I was waiting for my sister-in-law, but she'd been doubtful about whether she would be in time, so I thought, if she didn't make it I would get her a signed book and if she did make it, I'd just move to the back and keep her company. The moment my sis-in-law arrived (which was almost closing time) I jumped to the back which was really great because I could relax and not worry about holding up the line when it was my turn to get my books signed.

Anyway, it was great meeting Lynn Austin in person. She was just as warm and gracious as she'd been on the phone and she remembered me. Which was really, really cool of her.

Here's a pic of me with Lynn Austin:

And here's a pic of her opening my present which was a candle holder from the Philippines. It's one of those holders made out of capiz. I loved the spontaneity of her reaction when she opened the present. She liked it :)

2008-11-11T00:30:00.000-08:00

Got this icon from Iconator where they have some really cool elephant avatars. I've been working on an Elephant story, and have posted it to the Online Writing Workshop.

You did it!

2008-11-05T02:56:00.000-08:00

Yes, America. You did it!

Sometime around 5 a.m. (Dutch time) the radio came on with news of Barack Obama's victory. America's first Black President.

As a person of color, I couldn't help but cheer and feel a bit emotional, even if I am not a US citizen.

My Mom was so enthusiastic about Obama's victory, she called me up from The Philippines just to check if I'd seen it on CNN.

"Did you see it?" she asked. "Isn't it wonderful?"

Yes, Mom. It is wonderful :)

women and ambition

2008-10-31T13:16:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd share this article from Bitch Magazine. I gakked this from Leigh Dragoon's blog. Leigh is the editor of Byzarium, she's fabulously outspoken and proudly feminist.

The Ambition Condition: Women, Writing, and the Problem of Ambition by Anna Clark

2008-10-29T13:10:00.000-07:00

Go read Malcolm Gladwell's article on Late Bloomers in The New Yorker. (gakked from the Philippine Genre Stories blog).

I read that and leaned over to give my husband a hug.

"What was that for?" hubby asks.

"Thanks for being my patron," I said.

This is just beautiful:

Late bloomers’ stories are invariably love stories, and this may be why we have such difficulty with them. We’d like to think that mundane matters like loyalty, steadfastness, and the willingness to keep writing checks to support what looks like failure have nothing to do with something as rarefied as genius. But sometimes genius is anything but rarefied; sometimes it’s just the thing that emerges after twenty years of working at your kitchen table.

updating this blog.

2008-10-23T02:29:00.001-07:00

Now that the hectic pace has slowed down and I'm coming back down to earth from the heaven I've been to which is Villa Diodati, I've decided to do a bit of update on stuff I've neglected to blog about while I was in the busy rush to finish the costume/dress, write reviews, submit my columns, and pack a balikbayan box for pickup. All these in the weeks right before I had to go to Villa Diodati.

I've been wanting to blog and thank The Chatelaine for sending me my very own copy of The Blind Chatelaine's Keys. This is Eileen Tabios's latest masterpiece, and I want to express how much I admire Eileen's virtuousity as well as her prolificity. You can also get a copy of this book from Amazon.com. Pretty cool, eh?

Last month's Munting Nayon featured a short review of The Light Sang As It Left Your Eyes. I love how Eileen continues to be fresh and innovative and inspiring in her work. And even if my own body of work consists predominantly of the speculative, poetry will always have a special place in my heart, and I'll continue to buy and read poetry because honestly where would we all be without poetry in the world?

**

Another thing I've neglected to post on here is the announcement about the International Issue of Weird Tales Magazine. This issue which includes my story, The Wordeaters, also contains another story written by a pinoy expat. I am so looking forward to getting my contrib copies as well as my subscriber copy. I remember sending this story to Luisa Igloria, and it was her words of encouragement that kept me sending out this piece and believing in it. I mean, if an award-winning poet and teacher thinks it's good, then someone else must surely share that opinion.

Heartfelt thanks to Ann VanderMeer. She is an amazing woman whom I'd love to meet someday.

**

Coming back from Villa Diodati, hubby and I had a long sitdown talk. Our conclusion was that I should try my darndest best to get into one of the Clarion workshops. And yes, this is a dream I've had somewhere in the back of my head, but what with having a toddler and a school-going kid, I had sort of shelved this ambition because it seemed like an impossible dream. Suddenly, it looks possible. Of course, I still have to write a couple of kick-ass stories that will just convince the panel to take a chance on me. But yes, Villa Diodati has challenged and encouraged me and I realize that I see it now as being possible as before Villa Diodati, I'd sort of just seen myself as someone who tries their darndest best to make sense of story with the available tools I've got, but who really is totally clueless and hasn't got a chance in the world.

I am thinking of this woman who told me that I would never get far writing in English because Filipinos will never be able to write good enough to satisfy native english speakers. While that comment devastated my younger self, I did take that as a challenge, and I suppose it was that comment resonating in the back of my head that's pushed me all these years to improve and to become better than myself because I had to prove that "yes, the Filipino can."

I wish I remembered who the woman was, but I certainly owe her a debt of gratitude. Without those words, I would never have challenged myself or set such stringent rules on my own writing. I know there's still lots of room for improvement. There are still tons of things I don't know and I sometimes get confused when people talk about plot arc and character arc...and all that...but I absorb everything...I absorb and think and read and do my darndest best to reach down and dig deep and be more than what I am today. And I will accept all the criticism and advice I can get because God knows, I do need it.

So yes, I am going to finish that novel...yes, I am going to work on getting into Clarion, and I've got more incentive now to keep going because I can hardly quit right now that I'm in the middle of the game. I mean, what message would that send to my boys?

Well...this is a pretty hefty post, but I'm in this state of mind where I think I have to say it out loud because this means I can't back out and say...oh, that was just me talking out loud. ha, ha...

Wish me luck as I prep my application stories.

**

updating this blog.

2008-10-23T02:29:00.000-07:00

The Dress

2008-10-10T04:33:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd post some pictures of the dress I've been working on. It's been quite an experience...took me longer than I'd bargained for, but it was a learning thing. I love the material on the bodice, and I like that the skirt flares just the way it should. Hemming it was a bit of a nightmare though. I shall now go and iron the thing, and I just remembered I'm supposed to make a mini-version for the doll the little girl is going to carry (waaah). I think the doll should be fairly easy. I'm planning to just give it a handkerchief skirt attached to a bodice similar to this dress.

sewing...

2008-10-08T13:36:00.001-07:00

I've been asked to sew a dress for my friend's daughter. She's five years old and she'll be dancing a little ballet on Saturday. I was happy to find the right material at the Utrechtse Stoffenmarkt (cloth market) particularly as there was this stall that sold lovely lengths of decorated cloth that I thought would do perfectly for the bodice of the dress.

I based the skirt of the dress on this pattern but I changed the bodice to a fitted one using the lovely heavily embroidered cloth that I found in the market. We had our first and final fitting this afternoon, and I'm quite pleased to say the dress is almost all done except for some hemming and attachment of the straps.

I'm rather proud of myself seeing as this is the most ambitious sewing project I've taken on to date. When the dress is done, I'll take some pics and post on here.

It's been a while since I've been to the cloth market and I realized that with fashion focusing on the skirt and the dress, it might not be such a bad idea to visit this market more regularly. The Utrecht Cloth Market offers quite a good variety at very reasonable prices. Not bad when you compare how a lace dress easily costs close to (and even over) a hundred euros...sewing it yourself might save you half the price and it certainly will be more fun than settling for your regular consumer-type dress.

I did a bit of searching on youtube while preparing for this dress (my friend didn't want your regular tutu, she wanted something special), and I stumbled across some footage of Katherine Healy.

I've been sitting here, thinking of how when someone dances like this, it's like watching poetry in motion. . .

The Fix

2008-10-01T14:42:00.000-07:00

crossposting from my lj:

I just realized the need to go look for jumping up and down with excitement avatars. I am now an official reviewer for The Fix and my first review is now up. Feel free to go click on the link :)

http://thefix-online.com/reviews/new-horizons-1

And while you're there, you might want to check out Marshall Payne's interview with M.K. Hobson.

Philippine Specfic discussions

2008-10-01T13:21:00.001-07:00

The TOC for Philippine Speculative Fiction IV is now up on Dean's blog. You can go there or you can click on the link to the TOC from here.

Catching up on my blogreading, there's a lot of discussion going on in the blogosphere concerning Filipino speculative fiction and what it is. I've tried to follow links to the discussions whenever I can, but I do have a busy toddler, so that makes posting and responding to posts rather challenging.

Anyway, I do have my own thoughts on labelling and on the subject of speculative fiction...in fact, I question how some folks are quick to call something non-literary, when we all know that only time will tell whether something is literary or not. Not so long ago, I put this question to my aunt, and she told me it's all a matter of semantics, and actually, given time the stories we write today will be labelled "literary" and "classic" in the far, far future. I suppose this means when we're all long dead and buried and by then it's quite possible that another revolution will have started up to turn the entire "literary scene" on its head.

Anyway, Dean Alfar has got this excellent post about speculative fiction and I think he's got all the links to every other major post.

Review: Seeds of Change edited by John Joseph Adams

2008-09-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

This is a long overdue review of Seeds of Change edited by John Joseph Adams.

After a lengthy interval, I’ve finally found the time to sit down and write a review of Seeds of Change. There are nine stories in this themed collection addressing issues of racism, political revolution, medical experimentation, prejudice and the environment.

Ted Komatska’s “N-Words” starts off this anthology. Set in a future time when experiments have resulted in the successful cloning of Neanderthals, humankind discovers itself giving way to old prejudices as it rebels against the perceived advantage of the cloned Neanderthals. I couldn’t help thinking of Nancy Kress’s “Beggars in Spain” while I was reading this.

In “The Future by Degrees” by Jay Lake, Grover works as a sales development person for Quantum Thermal Systems. His job is to present prototypes to potential investors. Grover’s current project is a device that is capable of storing 18,000,000 joules of heat. Grover doesn’t realize just how controversial the project is until an attempt is made on his life. Lake provides us with a gritty tale involving spionage, conspiracy, and an interesting mix of characters.

I thoroughly enjoyed “Drinking Problem” by K. D. Wentworth. When Joe goes to his regular bar and purchases a beer, the bar owner presents him with The Smart Bottle. The Smart Bottle is an environment-friendly project established by the government, and every citizen is bonded to the bottle for life by means of DNA imprintment. Joe tries everything in his power to get rid of the bottle, but he’s unsuccessful. When he takes the bottle home, his wife Terri is at first irritated by the presence of the bottle. The Smart Bottle is more than a bottle, as the story progresses, it evolves into something more than just a bottle. I think “Drinking Problem” is the longest story in this collection, but it’s so engaging and so entertaining, you’ll hardly notice the length until you check the page numbers.

I should really like “Endosymbiont” by Blake Charlton. After all, I come from a family rich in doctors, and my mother is a cancer survivor. If for that reason alone, I truly felt I should be able to immerse myself into Charlton’s tale. Stephanie wakes up in a hospital feeling quite ill as a result of the chemo. In the room she occupies she finds some neo toys which she hacks into. One of them, a snake, curls around, eats its own tail and vanishes with a pop. A little later, Stephanie discovers a glass snake in her pocket with the words carconella rudii imprinted on its belly. Stephanie assumes it’s a message from her mother, and this is how she learns that her mind has been uploaded into a concinnity neuroprocessor.

The concept behind this story is quite interesting, but it didn’t really do very much for me, and it was hard for me to feel any true empathy with the characters in the story.

“A Dance Called Armageddon” by Ken MacLeod is quite visual with loads of captivating lines and genuine accent. The UK and the US are engaged in the mother of all battles with Russia. MacLeod provides us with a main character who is so genuine, it’s impossible not to like him.

In “Arties Aren’t Stupid” by Jeremiah Tolbert, the future world is populated by different types of make. There are the Brainiacs, the Arties, the Elderfolk, the Tin Men, the Thicknecks and the Council who rules over them all. Mona is an Artie, and it is she who introduces us to this strange futuristic world devoid of plants and animals and where art or making is forbidden. When Niles, the leader of the Arties comes home with a device that is capable of making more than drawings, the world Mona and the Arties inhabits is changed.

I enjoyed this story very much and loved how Tolbert describes the process of making and the urge that pushes Arties to create. Beautiful.

In “Faceless in Gethsemane” by Mark Budz our narrator’s sister, Keeley has chosen to become face blind. Budz provides us with an insightful and moving tale that doesn’t feel at all preachy. I had a lump in my throat by the time I finished reading it.

In “Spider the Artist” by Medi Okorafor-Mbachu, a pipeline runs close by Eme’s house. This pipeline carries fuel all over Nigeria, and is a constant target for men in the village who siphon fuel off the pipeline. When the government sets in zombies (spiderlike robot creatures) to guard the pipeline, the stealing goes down.

Eme, our main protagonist, is a musician married to a man who beats her up. To escape his abuse, she often goes behind the house where she sits close to the pipeline and plays on her guitar. On one of the evenings, a zombie comes up to her, and listens to her music. I found myself quite engrossed in this tale of an unlikely friendship between a human and musically inclined killer-robot.

Okorafor-Mbachu weaves a spell-binding tale illustrating how perceived differences can be bridged and new alliances can be made.

“Resistance” by Tobias Buckell is the last story in this collection. It’s quite an insightful look into what happens to societies when people fail to take responsibility for their own decisions. It’s a strong story to end the collection with and leaves the reader with excellent food for thought as the protagonist in this tale sinks back and “waits for the dark to take him in its freeing embrace.”

Overall, Seeds of Change exceeded my expectations. I found it to be quite an engaging read, and while not all of the stories appealed to me, I think the majority of it will appeal to readers everywhere.

55 years

2008-09-24T07:22:00.001-07:00

Grandma and Grandpa Loenen celebrate their 55th wedding anniversary today. We're off to visit them on our bikes. The sun's just come out...and Sam's awake.

Joel's plans for the future

2008-09-23T14:09:00.000-07:00

I'm in some weird shopping/windowshopping phase. I can't seem to keep from browsing online shops and thinking up lists of things I would like to buy. In fact, the only reason I haven't headed out to the shops is because my eldest son did not feel in the mood to go shopping with me. So, I had to stay home even if Tuesday is a non-piano lesson day.

In the long run, I'm thankful he didn't want to go. I think I might have ended up buying lots of things that I would later regret. It must be hormones or something. because for some reason I've been having attacks of these huge buying impulses.

It's quite possible though that this buying urge stems from me not losing weight as fast as I would like to. I have to keep reminding myself that weight will not fly off in one-click.

#

During our nephew's wedding reception ( Friday evening), eldest son and I sneaked out while the rest of the gang were going wild on the dance floor. He said he had something important to tell me and so we went out and had ourselves a nice walk and a surprising chat in which he divulged his plans for the future.

Joel: I know what I want to do when I'm done with school.

Me: What's that? (I'm prepared for the train engineer or conductor answer)

Joel: I want to put up a publishing company. I'll publish magazines for all different ages and each magazine will be accompanied by a book.

Me: Sounds like a good idea. You'll have to attract good writers though.

Joel: That's why I want you to be my foremost writer.

Me: Say that again.

Joel: I think you're stories are really good and I want to publish all of them.

Me: Uh---yeah...wow...gee... (I never saw that coming)

Joel: And you'll have to write more stories because we have to cater to kids under three years old as well as kids from three to six, seven to twelve, twelve to sixteen and sixteen and above.

Me: That's a lot.

Joel: I know what we'll call the entire publication.

Me: What?

Joel: We'll call it Metropole three.

Me: Why?

Joel: I like how that sounds...

If fate doesn't intervene and change his mind...expect Metropole three to launch some twenty or so years from now.

2008-09-22T01:13:00.000-07:00

Finished work on a new story. I'll be taking it down the editting road this week and plan to send it out to market next week.

September has turned out to be quite an expensive month for us. We had a wedding in the family and several birthday celebrations, which meant money spent on gifts and wedding accoutrements. Added to this, I splurged and visited a luxurious hair stylist. It was sinfully expensive, but well worth the visit as I bought a shampoo that seems to have solved my eternal struggle with stressed hair and dandruff. Look, Ma! Clean scalp!

Thankfully, we're still in the blue. Our tax return came in and I could heave a huge sigh of relief. Still, I do intend to keep a watchful eye on the budget this October.

Total extra expenses for the month of September(beyond our planned budget): three hundred euros. I'm spelling it out because it seems less sinful when spelled out than when written in numbers. lol.

October is coming up fast. My youngest brother will be visiting us for a few days (alas only five days) and we're planning a day trip to Amsterdam and quick trips to Haarlem and Gouda. I'm creating a fresh new budget for October and for the pasalubongs he'll be taking back with him. I do have bags full of baby clothes. Funny how the Dutchies seem not to want secondhand stuff from me...they love giving it to me (and I love receiving it, because toddler stuff is almost never on sale) but if I ask who wants something hand-me-down, no one raises their right hand.

On the exercise side: I've been walking everyday for the past couple of weeks, and I can feel my tummy shrinking. Today, I turned on the telly at 9 a.m. and did stretches and warm-ups with this program called "Nederland in Beweging" (translated: Netherlands in Action or better yet: Netherlanders Move It).

Alternate Girl: Working on a new segment for the Alternate Girl hay(na)ku. I love how characters just seem to jump out of walls and bridges confronting me with their story within this story.

I am also working on my first ever review for The Fix. My thanks to Marshall Payne for recommending me and encouraging me to join the review team. Marshall's a great guy who writes stuff that will twist your head off in a good way. I like how his work incorporates a sense of humor that I feel is essential in the sf&f genre.

In my own observation of the genre field, I've sometimes sensed a certain hostility towards what's seen as literary work, while on the other hand, there's also a strong desire to be viewed as literarily solid. It seems to be a desire to belong while still remaining outside of. I wonder how come certain works of speculative nature will be shut out by the literary powers-that-be whereas other work will be considered revolutionary and cutting edge.

Having said that, I'll be the first to admit that I'd like to be resistant to labelling. I mean, while I enjoy writing speculative fiction, I think I wouldn't be where I was as a writer of fiction if not for the influence poetry and journalism had on me. Whether we like it or not, I think poetry, arts, music and story writing are all relatives of each other and I like to see how great writers will engage in all of these disciplines because engaging all these will stretch you. I suppose what I'm saying here is that it's a good thing to go beyond traditional form, to make a break with traditional storytelling, to experiment and jump off a cliff even if it means no one will like what you're doing or that what you're doing is the least commercially viable product.

Being truthful and true to your art and to your story and to what the muse demands is more important than commercial viability in my books.

Anyway, I'm reading this new publication from The British Fantasy Society. I have this to say, I like how these Brits pick out their fiction :)

Keys

2008-09-11T23:33:00.000-07:00

Catching up on my blogreading, I visited The Chatelaine's blog, and I had to smile reading the line "there are keys to everything..."

It seems quite apt reading that now, and I have to share about how each time I hit a block or come out of a period of non-writing, the first thing I do is write hay(na)ku. I wrote about this on my lj and talked about how some of the best stories I've ever written have worked out after doing some hay(na)ku on the stories.

I was reflecting on how writing in hay(na)ku (as I am experiencing it with Alternate Girl) brings me to a certain place where I can touch the heart of the story.

On Haruah some of the editors talk about how writers/poets used to make use of hallucinatory drugs to produce their work. I have to confess that each time I show my husband a hay(na)ku that I've used to solve a problem in my stories he tells me the hay(na)ku sounds just like I've been taking a hallucinatory drug of some sort (how would he know that?). I don't really care that it's so, the thing is, the hay(na)ku has become an essential part of my writing life. Other writers may have their outlines and their detailed character pages and index cards... I have the hay(na)ku.

It's my key and my drug of choice :)

2008-09-10T14:44:00.000-07:00

Have posted a new Alternate Girl episode over at chiepublication.

Looks like I'm riding out of the slump I was in.

Listmaking

2008-09-10T08:52:00.001-07:00

Things I have been doing lately:

1. Cleaning the house
2. Shopping
3. Cleaning out closets
4. Shopping
5. Organizing bedrooms
6. Shopping
7. Tackling the laundry mountain

If you look at this list, it's quite easy to think that I am turning into a shopaholic. And I would be one if it wasn't for this picky voice inside my head that somehow includes a visual of something other than the thing I'm holding in my hand. Since I've cleaned out my closet, I've discovered a lot of items in there that I bought on the spur of the moment, mainly because someone prompted me to buy it because it fit in with their idea of a perfect buy. The result was me having yet another thing in my closet that I wore probably only once or twice because I wasn't convinced that the item was really me.

A good rule of thumb that I've decided to put into effect after cleaning out my closet is that if the item I'm holding isn't something I'm 100% convinced about, then I'd better not take it. Knowing me, I'm likely to wear only the clothes I really liked as compared to clothes I liked 50% but bought anyway because someone else was there.

Trimming down my closets has also made me understand why quality is more important than price, and shopping ( or rather windowshopping ) has made me understand that it's important to do your research before you head out to the shops.

With technology at hand, it's easy to research style and price before you head out to the shops.

The Perfect Jeans

After years of frustrated searching, I have finally found and bought my own pair of perfect jeans. Because of the way I'm built, the low-waisted jeans just don't fit me. I mean, they do fit, but I don't understand how anyone can be comfortable wearing a pair of jeans that slides down to reveal your butt crack everytime you need to crouch down for something. So, I am truly thankful that the low-waisted jeans have been replaced by sensible fairly waisted jeans (not highwaist). Mine are waisted around the stomach, they don't slide down and they are in dark, dark blue with a little flare at the bottom to even out the hips I inherited from my grandmother.

I was lucky enough to find this pair of perfect jeans on a day when the shop that was selling them had put up an extra 10 euro discount on the jeans. Which makes this buy all the sweeter.

Joel's Bedroom

We've finally minimalized the clutter in Joel's bedroom and he has floorspace. We bought this secondhand bed off Marktplaats only to discover that it was missing a metal bar that holds the entire thing in the middle, and were lucky enough that we could still get it from IKEA for the sweet price of seven euro.

Because Joel's room is done in Railway style with the colors of the National Railway on it, the look is a bit industrial. At Ikea we managed to get a couple of open shelves in metal. The shelves were pretty cheap and I assembled them all by myself.

We've been engaged in a lot of home improvements and I'm hoping that before the year ends I'll be able to say the attic has been done.

I am making lists...lists and lists and lists and lists...

alternate girl resumed

2008-08-25T13:49:00.000-07:00

Resuming work on the Hay(na)ku experiment. Posted the true chapter two as it was meant to be before human will strove to intervene.

I'm thinking of how it's very easy to yield to the temptation to produce a marketable piece of work. Like saying to myself: that Alternate Girl is a good story and so, I should try to write it in a form that would sell to the markets I know.

So, I thought I would introduce a serial style...sort of like a soap operatic kind of thing...which didn't work because the story was being forced to fit into a genre when that's not what this work is all about.

After deliberating and reflecting, I realized the only thing to do was to apologize to the spirit of Alternate Girl's story. To leave the chapter produced by human error is part of the experiment, to write an apology is part of the experiment. The funny thing is how the apology seemed to work and so Torero came into being.

How Torero's story and Alternate Girl's story come together is still a mystery to me. But in any case, I'm glad I let the story go its way because it deserves to be told the way it wishes to be told. Which is in hay(na)ku form.

In which my parents-in-law move house...

2008-06-23T23:37:00.000-07:00

It's been a hectic couple of weeks as my parents-in-law moved from the house they've lived in for the past 50 years into what the Dutch call an "aanleun woning". An aanleun woning is a flat or a house that's connected to a medical care center and is an ideal place for elderly folks who want to keep their independence and still have medical care at hand. We're all pretty happy about them getting this place as my father-in-law had been in the hospital for more than two months and it took quite a lot of energy and time added to which it was getting quite depressing for him.

Mom-in-law hasn't been well either. But she's really quite stubborn and refuses to admit that she can't do everything on her own any longer. So, this is an ideal place for both of them as they get regular visits from medical personnel.

The move to the new house meant getting rid of a lot of stuff from the old house, and looking for a place to store things that used to be in the old house. Happily, we'd managed to empty our attic of a lot of extra stuff, so there was room for the things that did need to be stored. I do question the wisdom of storing a cradle that's almost 50 years old and is quite ricketty, but I think I'll let hubby have his turn at sentimentalism. After all, it was his cradle.

In the meantime, we salvaged a number of doors that would do very well for our storage area in the attic. Finally, the dream of having the stored stuff neatly kept out of sight will come to pass.

Moving house does bring to light how we tend to hoard and keep things that we really end up not using at all. Mom-in-law is from the world war II generation where hoarding became quite a habit during a time of scarcity. If there was ever the epitome of the thrifty soul, it's my mom-in-law. In all the years that I've lived here, I've never once seen her wear clothes newly bought from the shops. She barely ever spends money on clothing and shoes, and if she does need them, she'll head for the nearest thrift or charity shop where she always manages to get shoes that have never been worn for almost nothing. Every winter, she unravels her old sweaters, washes the wool, and knits it back into either a new sweater or the same one it was before she unravelled it. If the wool gets too thin, she visits the thrift shop, yet again, purchases a good-as-new sweater, unravels it, washes the wool and knits a new sweater.

She's often told me how she hasn't bought herself new clothes for years because her closets are stuffed full with clothing.

All these conversations have often made me feel guilty in the past, and I finally decided to try and not let the kids wear anything obviously new when they went to visit Grandma. Whenever I bought new shoes for the boys or bought a new dress or a new blouse and she noticed it, I'd feel obliged to explain my purchases away. She became the standard of thriftiness that I had to live up to. Not easy if you'll consider that I used to buy myself a new dress every week, and once blew 2000 bucks on new shoes. All that non-thriftiness would come back to bite me each time mom-in-law noticed something new.

"Oh, you have a new dress." or "Do you have a new coat?" or "Are those new shoes?"

It's been quite a long time though since she's made observations like that, but on Sunday, we went off to visit the in-laws. Samuel was wearing sturdy leather shoes. Shoes she'd forgotten were first worn by Joel Jan, because she started making a comment that went like this:

"Oh, what beautiful shoes. My, my, my, your Daddy must work so hard for you to have such beautiful new shoes."

Before she got to the part where she says how expensive baby shoes are I said:

"Oh, but those were Joel's shoes."

To which, she said:

"oh, oh...my, well. They look good as new."

Picture the bling smile on my face.

I got one up on mom-in-law and she had to say:

"Well, that's the nice thing about having two kids. You can always pass on stuff like shoes to the next one."

Aren't I lucky I've got two boys? Just think of all the commentating I'd have gotten if I had a girl with all the frillies and doodies. I would have made a great girl mommy...my little girl would have been doffed out everytime.

Grandma would have been one huge trembling blob of worry about the way daughter-in-law spends money like water. If she was tech savvy enough to read this blog, I'm sure she'd heave a sigh of relief....

updating the blogs...

2008-06-17T23:17:00.000-07:00

I've been offline for a couple of days. Our server had some transition problems, but it looks like we're back online again. So, I've posted the second chapter of Alternate Girl to the chiepublication blog.

I tried writing Alternate Girl as a traditional short story. Strangely, the story in hay(na)ku and the story in trad form differ from each other.

#

It's been really lovely weather here in NL. I just realized it's Wednesday, the 18th of June and I have got a bunch of things to get done before the end of the month.

We've been clearing out the attic, and I managed to put out our junk in time for the quarterly big junk pick-up. Which was a real blessing as we had quite a good chunk of stuff that needed to go away. I tried offering an old tv for free on Marktplaats, but had no takers. Yup, everyone wants the new-fangled, flatscreen tv models. I want one too...

I had given up on watching tv, as it's a great time waster, but with the European Championships on, I decided to raise my own tv ban and go cheer for the men in orange.

Quite a good team they've got this year. The Dutch win against France was an amazing 4-1. This team is quite a pleasure to watch, and I think Head Coach Marco van Basten has done a really good job with these guys. I love the go for it and win it all attitude. None of the wishy-washy, we're in the next round so why do your best stuff, and none of the I'm a superstar so why are you critting me mindset.

Last night's game against Romania: Neither of the teams scored during the first half, and the game play seemed a bit lackadaisical (yay, finally a chance to use that word). In the second half, things perked up a bit. Romania was eager for the ball as they really needed this game to go through to the next round. But Orange wouldn't let them through, and Jan Klaas Huntelaar gave Orange the first goal of the evening.

It looked like the heat was back in the game, and after Robin Van Perzie made that second goal, everyone knew the cat was in the bag. It was time for Romania to pack up and go home.

Football is a huge thing over here, and the street behind us is dressed all in orange. Folks in the block behind us have apparently set it up so they all watch together during the games. Even with the windows closed we could hear them cheering and talking and chatting and making their own voice overs during the game.

I could imagine folks all over The Netherlands crowded together in front of their tvs watching the play by play, eyes literally stuck to the screen. I suppose there weren't as many clustered by the tube last night, but I bet by next week's game Orange Fever will be in full swing once more. Kids will be staying up till late with orange paint in their hair and red, white and blue war paint on their cheeks. Horns and whistles and all that orange in the street and every child asking their Moms to please find that orange shirt because how can a child wear any other color when Orange is playing? Well, that's Football season for you.

Aardappels and Alternate Girl

2008-06-05T01:29:00.000-07:00

In which I talk about aardappels (earth apples more commonly known as potatoes). Once every three weeks, a farmer comes along with a car full of potatoes. I started buying potatoes from the farmer when I was pregnant and could barely climb on the bike to go get a sack of them from the supermarket. Somehow, I can never find the courage to tell the farmer that I really don't need his potatoes now.

So, once every three weeks, he comes along with a sack of potatoes that I don't really want anymore because now that it's summertime, we are not eating as much potatoes as we used to. Because I'm too cowardly to tell the potato man that I don't want his potatoes anymore, we are eating more potatoes than we normally eat.

I have even experimented with slicing the potatoes into very tiny chips and deep frying them, just so we eat all those potatoes before they start to grow appendages.

Ha, ha. Just imagine the news: Potatoes Come Alive...

Of course, that would make good publicity and it would be great if that meant more of my weird stories would sell .

I've written the first chapter to Alternate Girl and it's all up over at the chiepublication blog. I shall probably write a chapter where the earth apples come into the picture, but the next episode features what we would call, the appearance of the love interest...so we'll see.

Alternate Girl (a serialized hay(na)ku story)

2008-06-04T08:20:00.000-07:00

I was in the middle of writing one of those weird little stories that seem to visit me every now and then, when I thought of Alternate Girl. The funny thing is, her story doesn't seem to want to be told in the conventional way. I honestly tried. I wrote a sentence, a paragraph, a couple of lines. It just didn't sound right.

So, I was out biking this afternoon and thinking about Alternate Girl when the first few lines popped up inside my head. I hang onto the words as hard as I could and raced for home where I plopped down in front of my computer and typed out the first lines for Alternate Girl.

It's a story in Hay(na)ku and I'm quite curious how long it will be and how far it will take me. I'm posting it in installments over at http://chiepublication.blogspot.com

Feel free to drop by and give it a read. Comments are welcome. I highly doubt it'll ever get within the pages of a print pub, but I think writing it will be great fun.

stuff accumulates and needs to be minimized

2008-05-29T14:02:00.000-07:00

We've been doing loads of minimizing this past week. First to get tackled was our overfull attic. The attic is actually more like a third floor with the crossbeams, and many of our neighbours have successfully converted their attics into neat storage spaces for seasonal clothing and seasonal stuff. Some of them have actually turned their attics into an extra bedroom with an adjoining work/computer room.

I've been to several of these homes, and believe me, I always come home wondering what the heck is wrong with us that we just can't seem to free up any floor space.

Our attic was the last place on earth that I would have been willing to open up to visitors. Our washing machine and dryer were propped into this tiny corner, Jan's work space was all jumbled up and everywhere there were tumbled up piles of unidentifiable clothing/books/papers/pictures/stuff. Our bookshelves were somehow still reachable, but in order to get to the books, a person had to step over piles of "secret type stuff". In other words, no idea what it was on that floor.

We spent a couple of days sorting through clothing and stuff, and wound up with nine huge bags of unecessary things we'd stored up in the attic. Of the nine bags, three were bags filled with clothing that we brought to a textile center. Another three bags were textile that was no longer usable, and another three bags were odds and ends like broken toys, broken thingamagigs, and things we'd imagined we could still repair or use someday.

I've still got stuff lying out in the backyard. A very old tv that no one wanted, a very dirty rug, and a partly used roll of linoleum. Those are all going away to the dump this coming Saturday.

Our attic is turning into a wonderful place. We've finally migrated the ironing board up to the attic, because there is room enough to iron and fold away clothes up there. We've also got everything neatly boxed or bagged and neatly tucked away under the eaves. Coming weekend, Jan's off to pick up sliding doors so all our stuff is hidden neatly away in compartments.

Another dream that's going to happen soon is the realization of Joel Jan's dream of finally having a place to stall out his model trains.

We're going to be sorting books and probably adding another bookcase upstairs. Jan needs to clean up his space and I need to sort through two more bags of assorted toys and then we can move washing machine and dryer to a more space efficient place.

I'm quite, quite happy.

today poetry sings in my veins...

2008-05-21T12:58:00.001-07:00

2008...
Oh 2008
how swift your

wings
you leave
me breathless, breathless

still,
but breathing
in your wake.

**

Duly reworked this to fit in with the following

ANNOUNCEMENT FROM MERITAGE PRESS AND XPRESS(ED)

THE HAY(NA)KU ANTHOLOGY, VOL. II
Edited by Jean Vengua and Mark Young
Release Date: 2008
ISBN 951-9198-73-3
ISBN 978-951-9198-73-6
Page Count: 148 pages
Price: $16.95
Distributors (forthcoming): Small Press Distribution, Amazon.com, Meritage Press

Meritage Press (St. Helena & San Francisco) and xPress(ed) (Puhos, Finland) are delighted to announce the release of THE HAY(NA)KU ANTHOLOGY, VOL. II, edited by Mark Young and Jean Vengua.

More information about the hay(na)ku poetic form is available at http://haynakupoetry.blogspot.com and http://www.meritagepress.com/haynaku.htm The former link identifies the poet-participants, while the latter shares some poets' thoughts on the hay(na)ku's attractiveness. The hay(na)ku has been one of the most popular new poetic forms in recent times; 39 poets participated in the soon-to-be-out-of-print first anthology. In Vol. II, 51 poets from around the world (and representing a multiplicity of poetics) participate.

Since The First Hay(na)ku Anthology's release in 2005, the hay(na)ku has appeared in many literary journals, anthologies and single-author poetry collections worldwide. Artists have created visual hay(na)ku. The form has been written in Spanish, English, French, Finnish, Dutch, Tagalog, and Norwegian. It has been taught in classrooms, and the National Autonomous University of Mexico/Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México (UNAM) features an hay(na)ku webpage in their online journal, Periódico de Poesía. Members of UNAM'S Faculty of Literature and Philosophy/Facultad de Filosofia y Letras are also preparing a full Spanish translation of The First Hay(na)ku Anthology for future release. Reflecting the hay(na)ku's continued popularity, THE HAY(NA)KU ANTHOLOGY, VOL. II is released just three years after the first hay(na)ku anthology. A third anthology is also in the works:The Chained Hay(na)ku which would present hay(na)ku collaborations among three or more writers. We hope readers enjoy this volume, and are encouraged to try writing their own hay(na)ku! For this poetic form also was created as an Invitation to Poetry.

To celebrate its release, Meritage Press is pleased to announce a RELEASE SPECIAL OFFER of $12.00 per book, a 29% discount off of the retail price and incorporating free shipping within the United States (for overseas orders, please email first to MeritagePress@aol.com). This offer expires on July 31, 2008. You can send checks made out to "Meritage Press" to

Eileen Tabios
Publisher, Meritage Press
256 North Fork Crystal Springs Rd.
St. Helena, CA 94574

For more information, contact MeritagePress@aol.com

**

And because poetry is singing in my veins today:

Go read and listen to Luisa Igloria's "What we Ate After Passing the Cape of Eleven Thousand Virgins"

2008-05-19T01:06:00.000-07:00

I cleaned out the shoe cupboard and made an inventory of shoes:

Me:

Two pairs of mocassins (rather comfy. One black, one blue. Both in a rather worn state, but they are great for biking)
One pair of open-toe sandals (good for biking)
one pair of platform type sandals (not good for biking, worn only twice)
One pair of formal type high-heeled black shoe (barely worn, not good for biking)
One pair of scuffed black boots (excellent for biking)
One pair of winter boots (excellent for biking)
One pair of rubber shoes (excellent for walking and biking)
One pair of sneakers (excellent for walking and biking)

Looking at that, my number one parameter for buying a shoe seems to be this: Is it good for biking?

stuff and new arrival...

2008-05-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

Arrived yesterday, surprisingly quick for an Amazon.com seller:

The Light Sang as it Left Your Eyes, by Eileen Tabios

On the same day, we minimized the number of wires in our living room, by purchasing and installing a wifi adaptor thing for our pc. I also bought a wireless keyboard and a wireless mouse which have been duly installed. Oh the joys of going wireless. For every harried housevrouw who wrestles with wires from that glorious, wretched thing we call the computer, I would definitely recommend going wireless. Diminishes wrestling and increases love.

And as I have observed, the shifting about of household stuff often does a world of good. We've been moving our furniture around again and I like how our living space has now been transformed into: a dining/living area, where one can just as easily move around and sit around the table while chatting with friends. Instead of turning our backs on the living room, the dining table has been moved so there is a circular/including motion in the way stuff is arranged.

2008-05-15T01:42:00.000-07:00

Books and reading matter take up a great part of my personal budget. Reflection's Edge and Weird Tales Magazine sent me e-cash and I've duly spent a part of my tiny fortune on the following things:

Lady Churchill's Rosebud Wristlet (current issue)
GUD magazine (issue 2)
Weird Tales Magazine (international subscription)
Move Underground by Nick Mamatas
I've still got a small pittance left over, but I'm hoping to place a couple of stories before the end of the year. That would be just fantastic.

Outside of the e-world, I've ordered a copy of Eileen Tabios's, The Light Sang as it Left Your Eyes.

Email brought me notice that Luisa Igloria's book, Juan Luna's Revolver is now available through the Fall 2008 catalogue of UND Press

That's the way the money goes, folks.

Aside from reading matter, other purchases have involved:

Basic household groceries
Writing supplies, like printing paper, paper clips and stamps

update

2008-05-14T04:42:00.000-07:00

In between my last post and this, I turned forty. Funny to think of myself as forty when I'm still following a toddler around. I'd sort of envisioned myself at forty as this mature matron looking quite dignified...and instead here I am dashing about with my hair all wild about my head and quite topsy-turvy because that's what life with a toddler is like.

I don't know how forty's supposed to feel like, but I sure don't feel a day older .

Because life has been so hectic and rushed, we took a break and it's done me a world of good. I'm feeling quite laid back and relaxed and I'm thinking these sunny days are part of the reason for me feeling very good inspite of my struggle with hay fever.

Preparations for the summer are underway. We've been searching on the net, looking for places to go and spend our summer vacation. Being carless people, we have to rely on public transportation and our bikes, so a french vacation is out of the picture until I've earned my driver's license and can drive us there.

We do have to take our budget into consideration as well. Vacation parks in The Netherlands are quite expensive, and a week's holiday costs more than half a month's paycheck. I stare at the prices and wonder how other folks manage to go on vacation, not once, but twice in a year. It does look like luck is on our side. Jan's decision to take the last three weeks of the summer vacation seems to be quite favorable as during the last weeks of summer, the park we've settled on gives families with children under 12 years old a 20% discount. This is something we'll have to keep in mind when we look into our vacation next year.

We'll probably have to take my bike with us, but otherwise, the train goes almost all the way to the boat we have to take which will cross over from the mainland to the island where we plan to spend a week. My sister-in-law says there's a rent-a-bike on the shore, and so Jan and Joel can just rent bikes for the length of our stay.

I'm actually beginning to look forward to the summer break. We'll have to take one of those trekker's backpacks for our stuff and probably will have to load another backpack onto the bike. Packing will have to be as minimal as possible. The lovely thing about vacations...it's relaxed and anything goes...er...at least that's my idea of vacation.

I shall be taking books and the laptop and hope I get time to write.

##

During this spring break, I finally got around to sitting down and focusing my attention on Achiote Seeds with the poetry of Barbara Jane Reyes, Rich Villar and Rebecca Mabanglo-Mayor.

This slim volume is thought-provoking and inspiring, and I found myself thinking on the way my fictions have been going and the role of the woman in the stories I've been writing. I'm quite curious now and want to take a look at women in genre work...I want to observe the roles these women play and how they are reflective of the convictions of the author/writer.

Barbara Jane Reyes writes:

What are feminist retellings of our stories important to write, and why do we need new, other ways of telling our stories?

And Rebecca Mabanglo-Mayor responds with:

I question separateness, of our/their. I question stories that are only feminine/woman in nature. I question exclusion, forgotteness, victimhood, appropriation, authenticity.

There's excellent dialogue going on here, and I love how these thoughts lead me to spin my own thoughts and to examine my own feminism.

##

It's liberating to be comfortable in one's own skin.

The Story of Stuff

2008-04-10T14:28:00.000-07:00

Gakked from Mary DeMuth's Shoutlife Blog: The Story of Stuff. It's good stuff. Takes a couple of seconds to load the video, but it's worth the watch. More reason to minimalize your life.

2008-04-07T02:50:00.001-07:00

--God is calling
God is calling
When you think he has forgot
When you think you have forgot
He remembers
and he speaks
your name out loud.--

today's poem

2008-04-04T02:12:00.001-07:00

Joys of Forty

Hard to believe I ever was a baby
Although pictures never tell a lie.

I am Spam

2008-04-03T04:06:00.000-07:00

She’s a cutie
He’s got a degree
He sells the latest stock in trade
Prophylactics, monkey antics
And Microsoft’s latest tool.

Download me
Purchase me
send me your details.

Win a prize
Collect the money
Sequestered by some foreign bank

Send your papers
Call this number
Be sure to have your account on hand

Here’s your code
Here’s your MBA
Here’s your gucci,
Here’s your prada
Here’s your imitation brand.

What more could you possibly want?

Enhance your sex life
Increase libido
Don’t be shy

We accept credit
We accept cash
We accept
The possibility
Of taking you
And breaking into your life.

In the Mail Today

2008-04-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

The New Weird Anthology, edited by Ann and Jeff VanderMeer -- have already snuck into the introduction which made my head go ping. I am already liking it and looking forward to a nice cosy sitdown with the stories.

Also received, Beggars in Spain which I'd ordered from an Amazon.com seller.

The Borges book I ordered is still footsie. If it doesn't arrive tomorrow I am going to have to complain.

**

And because poetry makes friends, my new year's resolution is to send poetry collections as gifts to poetry loving friends.

I'm really looking forward to gifting peeps with Luisa Igloria's soon to be released Juan Luna's Revolver.
I don't shop a lot, but I compensate with book buying :) Funny how this can be much more rewarding than buying a new pair of shoes. Having said that, I suppose it would be redundant to broadcast my bookwormism.

**

Must be the time of year. I am writing poetry again...to quiet the clamor inside my head.

2008-04-02T02:30:00.000-07:00

Dear . . . .

Sometimes, sleep is the only escape
and even then this dull ache
turns my dreams somber
I awake shedding tears over
the memory of mangoes

this is why I love poets and poetry

2008-04-01T14:54:00.000-07:00

There are days when stories clamor for existence
And my head is filled with noise and the clash-bang of giant drums

I will always return to poetry
To this luxury of resting in its arms and knowing
I can be.

taking stock

2008-04-01T00:58:00.000-07:00

I'll be turning forty this month, and I've decided it's time to take stock of my life and look at what I've achieved so far and what else I want to achieve and to consider carefully the organizations I'm part of and how essential these are to my future goals.

Three years ago, I joined fantasy-writers.org. Fantasy-writers is a fantastic community with lovely and friendly writing people. My most memorable people from fantasy writers are Joanne Hall, Fran Jacobs and Nyki. Not only are they generous writers, they also write excellent fiction and are no nonsense about wanting to be their best. I'm not surprised that Joanne and Fran have been able to land publishers for their books. 2005 was a tumultous year and through fantasy-writers, I went on to The Sword Review (Double-Edged Publishing). There, I've stuck for the past three years, and I don't foresee leaving DEP because even when I have a shortage of time, I believe in the vision of this publishing company, and I made a promise to me to do my best to support them as much as I could. Through DEP, I landed my interview column which led me to look for the FLIPs community. FLIPS being my connection to the Filipino writer anywhere in the world. Even if I'm not stateside, it's good to know and to support these fabulous writers who are driven by passion for their art.

Being on Flips, made me decide to write for Munting Nayon. From DEP, I discovered Notebored, didn't stick on Notebored that long due to limited time frames, but I did stick to Liberty Hall.

To date, I maintain two blogs. My livejournal writing blog and this blog which I moved to after the Raindancer blog.

Analyzing my organizations, I'm glad I took my time deciding which ones to join. It's easy to join too many orgs and end up burning out. And I'm convinced that if I join something it should be something I believe in and which I can contribute to in an effective way.

Breakdown of my current orgs:

Bayanihan -- org for Filipina Women in The Netherlands
Munting Nayon -- The Dutch-Filipino paper
Liberty Hall -- where I flash, and get challenged to write and polish and submit
OWW -- I'm not so active on OWW anymore. I think the bulk overwhelms me and I'm rather time-limited at present. I do enjoy lurking on the mailing list.
DEP-- I edit for Haruah, and lurk around the DEP forum whenever I can
Flips -- this is a filipino writers list based in the US
Villa Diadoti -- hopefully I'll finally get to go to a live one soon as I am eager to meet fellow writers in the flesh.

blogs:

this minimalmax blog for ramblings and inner searching stuff and struggles and working out of thoughts...and rants and whatever else cultural and opinionated

livejournal which is basically for writing updates and non-ranty stuff

This year, I would like to join the Broad Universe Organization. I've announced this to hubby and so I'll be making an application to join sometime soon. I've been nosing around the site, and I'm hoping I get accepted.

This year looks like the year we'll finally get a writers group together and be able to finally put on paper ideas for literary stuff and participation which includes book launchings, get togethers, readings, workshops and the entire thing. I'm excited about this as well as pretty nervous. It will mean more time.

Who said 40 meant slowing down? Looks like, life does begin .

Next time, I'll take stock of achievements since I launched out on this writing journey in 2005 and I'll make a listing of my projects and my goals for the coming year.

Remember The Killing Fields--Dith Pran, The Last Word

2008-03-31T06:28:00.000-07:00

http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/multimedia/20080320_DITH_PRAN_LAST_WORD_FEATURE/index.html

I remember watching The Killing Fields when I was in The Philippines. Dith Pran's "Last Word" is a reason to keep on remembering.

Blog against torture day...from my lj

2008-03-28T12:30:00.000-07:00

Wrote the following story... links are highlighted...please feel free to click.

Imagine Free

By rcloenen-ruiz 2008

Imagine you live in this city called "Free".You moved to this city when you were a child, and your parents told you there was no place in the world like this city where the sky is wide and blue and the possibilities stretch out into forever.

“Here, you have room to dream and to become what you dream,” your parents say. “Everyone in this city is free to be who he is and everyone in this city no matter where they are from is part of the fabric of what makes Free a wonderful place to live.”

One night, there is a pounding on the door. Your parents wake up, you wake up, your baby brother wakes up.

“Open up,” the voice shouts. “Open up in the name of the law.”

Still half-asleep, your father stumbles to the door and opens it to a nightmare.

Lights shine into your faces. Harsh voices make your baby brother cry. Hard hands slam you up against the wall, and you hear your father asking, “What is it? What have we done wrong?”

Pressed up against the cold wall, you think of a movie you have seen. Of men in uniform with dogs in tow, slamming helpless men and women to the wall, shouting accusations and curses and finally snatching them up and tossing them into the back of a truck.

“This is just a dream,” you tell yourself. “In the morning, I will wake up and laugh about it.”

All through the long ride to a place outside the city, you think you must be dreaming. When they shine light into your eyes, and spit into your face, when they call you names you don’t understand, and threaten you with pain, you think you are simply trapped inside a nightmare, and you wait for your mother to come and shake you awake.

In this nightmare, these people tell you that you are a threat to the fabric of all that is Free. They tell you that your very presence in this city gives birth to terror and unrest.

“Confess your hatred of the city,” they say.

“I do not hate the city,” you reply.

But no one seems to hear you.

You are put in a room that looks like a box. They pour water down your throat and when you pee in your pants and soil yourself they laugh and mock you.

“What an uncivilized beast,” they say.

They set you in front of a table while a man hurls accusations and words and threats and curses. You wish they would let you sleep, but when you ask for rest, they look at you with wild eyes and tell you there is no rest for beasts like you.

“Confess,” they say. “Confess your crime.”

“Please,” you whisper. “Can I go home?”

But you have no home, they tell you. You came to this city, a stranger, and strangers must pay if the city demands it.

“We have informers,” they hiss. “Make it easier on yourself. Confess your crime.”

But you don’t understand what crime they mean. The only crime you ever committed was in loving the city. When you tell them this, the man-in-charge grows red with rage.

Before they tie you up, before they hitch you up to the beam on the roof and turn you into the parody of a crucified man, you think of all the dreams you once cherished about this city. When they stretch your body wide, and mock you with guns and threats, when they drag you back from oblivion into pain time and again, you wonder whether this is what your parents dreamed of when they left behind a country to embrace this city called Free.

a family incident

2008-03-26T07:08:00.000-07:00

today
grandfather forgot
who he was.

his
voice thundered
through the house

resurrected
after many
years of silence.

today
grandfather forgets
80 years happened

he looks up
sees his
sons

and wonders who
are these
strangers.

today
grandfather gets
taken to psychiatry

where
finally he'll
have his say

today
grandfather will
discover the world

beyond
the haze
today has become.

today
grandfather will
sleep and dream

like a baby.

some thoughts...

2008-03-19T16:28:00.000-07:00

Burning the midnight oil as we chase the deadline for the International Women's Day article for Munting Nayon. I am waiting for our beloved chairperson to get back to me with edits and whatever else needs to be done on the piece.

I am thinking of Twie Tjao's speech on International Women's Day. In her speech, she speaks out against social injustice. I am on the same page with this woman. I think of how much I've changed since I started out on this writing journey. I'm not living in a haze. I'm awake, I'm alert, I'm aware of what's going on around me (even without tv).

And there's nothing like working on several articles summarizing different Women's Day celebrations to bring home this awareness of how misogyny, racism, and discrimination are very much alive and well in the world today.

There's this dream to put together an anthology of the lives of my fellow migrant women. Why? So, the generations that follow will not forget how the pioneers have struggled and pushed on even in the face of discouragement and opposition.

I remember my father saying to me sometime ago: Is this what you want to write about? Are you content to write about other writers and other authors and other people's books?

I suppose he'll have to add to that: Are you content to write about other people's lives and accomplishments?

To be honest...I am. I think it's like some sort of mission in life that I've embraced as my own. To promote and support other writers and artists and poets to the best of my abilities, to support and uplift strong women.

Why? Because I believe that these people have the power to inspire and encourage others and because these are the stories that when given back to the people will encourage them to dream and change the fabric of the future.

2008-03-18T23:55:00.000-07:00

World Banker and His Cash Return Home -- This article from the New York Times, illustrates the migrant situation.

Some quotes that I thought were pertinent to all migrants:

With regards to remittances home:

Mr. Ratha has argued that the importance of the money exceeds its sheer size. Unlike foreign aid, it cannot be skimmed by potentates. Unlike investors who flee crises, migrants increase their giving during hard times. The money is directed to the needy. And Mr. Ratha contends it is well-monitored, too, by intimates on the sending end. “It comes with a lot of goodwill, advice, knowledge and punishment if necessary — keeping in mind the welfare of the recipient,” he said.

And there is common thing that resonates with almost every migrant:

Globe-trotting technocrat, village boy made good, Mr. Ratha is like many migrants torn between two worlds and fully at home in neither. “On bad days, I do feel lonely in a way that I can’t explain,” he said.

pics

2008-03-18T15:02:00.000-07:00

Here are my boys. Joel's in the train engineer's seat, and Samuel's just at that almost toddling stage.

2008-03-18T01:23:00.001-07:00

Found via Leigh Dragoon's livejournal: this pro-girl blog called, Packaging Girlhood. Provides thought-provoking and well-written articles.

a brief recap

2008-03-16T07:14:00.000-07:00

There were about 50 women present during the Bayanihan International Women's Day celebration, and the Hope Away from Home book was launched quite successfully :) I thought it went quite well, but as this was a first for me, I have no idea how it equates in terms of how launchings go.

I read a section from "Falling in Love" which was previously published on Chickflicks, and which happens to be one of my favorite sections as it describes perfectly how I felt moving to a strange, new country, falling in love and discovering that just because you fall in love it doesn't mean everything's going to be perfect and you're going to live happily ever after. (of course, I knew that ... but this relates to falling in love with a country too ).

I thought the speaking parts went quite well too. We had an amazing guest speaker,Twie Tjao, who is head of the organization ZAMI (Colored Migrant Women in the Netherlands). She gave this inspiring talk and talked about her own history and how the choices she made influenced who she is today and the choices she makes today. She is an incredibly inspiring woman and I felt so privileged to hear her speak.

There were two other ladies besides myself who also gave their own speeches. One of them, shared with us the story of her struggle towards success and how she overcame all the obstacles in her path through sheer courage and determination. This was a woman who had been born in poverty, whose parents considered education as unnecessary, and who worked from the age of 7 just so she could earn enough money to go to school. Hearing her story, I couldn't help but applaud the spirit of this woman who through her own efforts completed a college education, landed a good job, chose love over money, and after achieving success, reached out and helped those less fortunate than herself. She had this beautiful, radiant aura about her... and I think of how it's stories like these that people need to hear.

Actually, when I think of the women present during the event, I think of how each of these women are successful women. Having struggled through hardship, homesickness, racism, and descrimination, these women are the women who integrate while retaining their identity. I keep thinking of the stories each woman has to tell, how the life histories of each of us connect to the other, and how together we form a lifegiving chain.

I think of how each woman needs a historian or needs to tell their own story so that it can be recorded and remembered for the next generation, and I realize this is why it's important for women to keep on writing.

Totalling up book sales at the end of the day, we'd sold 25 books :) The consul from the Philippine Embassy was present, and bought a copy of the book for the Embassy Library.

I did wish for the presence of Mrs. Feliciano, as it feel so strange to be congratulated on a book that I'd only co-written, and not authored by myself. I had to keep repeating : I am not the author. I am just the co-author. It probably feels like how an apprentice would feel if congratulated for a work their master had produced and where they'd been allowed to contribute tiny bits of knowledge to.

If anything, I came away from the experience more determined than ever to press on and to someday write a book of my own.

updates

2008-03-13T14:58:00.000-07:00

I think I may have found a new hobby. Made this during the self-image workshop at the Rotterdam International Women's Day celebration. According to other workshop attendees, the lady looks like me :)

I'm recovering from a bout with the flu. Have been down for almost a week now. I just can't seem to find sleep, so I thought I'd tinker about and update this blog a bit.

2008-03-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

Pageants. Are they really necessary? And what is it with us Filipinos that we feel our beauty queens have to speak english even if they can't? Would a Filipina answering in Filipino be an insult to the world of pageantry? In fact, for a beauty pageant called "Binibining Pilipinas" which purports to promote the image of the Filipina, I think it would be more important for candidates to speak the national or regional language.

I mean, I know a lot of Filipinas who are articulate in their native language but struggle with English. It doesn't make them any less intelligent or detract from their beauty.

I think it's time Filipinas liberated themselves from this ideal of the "beauty queen" as being someone who speaks good English. I mean, if you grew up speaking English and it's your first language, go ahead and speak it, but if your first language is Tagalog or Ilocano or Ilonggo or Visayan or Cebuano, I say go ahead and speak the language of your choice because it's the language in which you can best express yourself.

Watching this video and other related commentary, I found myself wondering why, why, why are we so obsessed with teaching the misses to speak straight English. So, let them go to the International competitions and speak their native tongue. Other candidates from other countries do it.

So yeah, this sort of disgusted me...and the comments on youtube...

What's with the "if you're beautiful, you don't need brains" theme. Good lord. Talk about going back to the stone ages!

on memoirs and hoaxes

2008-03-07T04:16:00.000-08:00

Someone on Liberty Hall pointed out this article about the latest memoir hoax.

I wonder whether it's some sort of schizophrenia or whether once the ball gets rolling, the author feels there's no way of stopping it and the only thing to do is cross your fingers and hope to God you don't get caught.

The thing is, when a reader picks up a book and it says memoir on the cover, we do expect and trust the author to be telling us the truth about her life. As it happened to the author and not to someone else.

If it's not the truth about your life, well there is this category called "fiction".

International Women's Day

2008-03-04T02:01:00.001-08:00

In connection with Bayanihan's launching of Hope Away from Home, I'll be in Rotterdam on the 8th of March, probably standing behind Bayanihan's Information booth touting the Hope Away from Home book. Since I'm attending a concert in the evening, I'll be leaving early, but the book will be available for something like five euros. All proceeds from the book are going towards the Bayanihan fund.

Here's the location for the Information Market:
Zadkine OC Welzijn, Sport en Cultuur, Benthemstraat 15, Rotterdam
There's more info on Rotterdam's International Women's Day Celebration at:
http://www.donadaria.nl

shameless self-promotion

2008-02-24T13:50:00.000-08:00

Reflection's Edge has published it's late February issue with my short story, Rituals of Grief.

2008-02-21T13:29:00.000-08:00

Samuel's November Photo

My bro wanted to see a photo of Samuel, so here's one of the most recent ones on the computer. I still have to upload some photos from the camera...so you'll have to wait for that.

This week has been really super-busy. I've barely had time to go online.

Monday, we went to the class I'm taking. The class is held in Alsmere which is about 45 minutes from where I live, and we left the building at eleven in the evening. There was this thick mist on the highway, and coming home was really tense as sight visibility was about a couple of meters. I don't know how much, I'm not good at that. Suffice it to say, that if a car was in front of us, the lights were barely visible. And it was pretty much like driving all alone in the dark. Thank goodness for our awesome driver who got us home safe and sound just a few minutes short of midnight.

Jan came and met me on his bike, and even though it was chilly and misty, it was nice biking home with him. Sort of like being in the boyfriend-girlfriend stage, we were. lol. I think this course is good for more things than just Sunday School. It's certainly added a romantic note to our marriage ;) You know, bike rides at close to midnight, holding hands in the dark...walking an extra round around the block, and simply chatting. Every marriage needs that.

We're thinking of taking an evening off and going out to have dinner with just the two of us, sometime soon. We just need to contract a babysitter.

temporary disturbances

2008-02-18T01:38:00.000-08:00

Our computer has been in a bit of trouble. Some of it due to a download that affected everything else and caused a temporary absence from the ether. We're back online though, and I'm happy to say Word is usable again. Yay.

I received a lovely email from Sharon Dodge accepting Rituals of Grief for an upcoming issue. I'm looking forward to being in Reflection's Edge again. I dithered for a long time before sending them another story as they'd published World in A Bubble in 2006, and I tend to get really perfectionist about work that I send in to a market I'm trying to get into for a second time. I did a little leap in the air when I saw the acceptance email :)

Last week's flash challenge at Liberty Hall went surprisingly well. I was quite ecstatic about having my first Liberty Hall challenge win. Yayness. I got to supply the trigger for the weekend challenge (agonized about whether I'd done it right, I did), but didn't get to join in because of microsoft weirdness.

I posted my lengthy Children of the Sun for critting in the polish challenge, but it looks like it's begging to be turned into a novel. Ow! Oh well...

On other news, Stichting Bayanihan has decided to launch the Hope Away from Home book on International Women's Day.

I've been invited to give a short talk on the choices that we make. Since I'm fonder of being in the background than being onstage, I'm already a bit nervous...what will I say?

I loved the email I received from Strange Horizons with regards to my small histories, and I've decided to give the stories leeway and let them expand and fill out the space they want to fill. I love how Paraluman is coming to life quite nicely. What started out as a protest against governmental abuse of tribal rights seems to be growing into something different and new. It combines all the stuff I've been thinking about. I like this new direction and well...I suppose I can't keep preventing stories from turning into novellas if they want to go that direction. I have to accept the inevitable and run with it, I suppose.

Being myself though, I must confess the short form is much easier for me than the novel or novella form.

I would like to send something new to Route's new anthology. I'm hoping I can find my UK stamps so I can send off my submission to Ian Daley. The Skin byteback publication has provided so many lovely offshoots. I'm quite, quite happy.

2008-02-09T03:23:00.000-08:00

I just signed my name to this petition. If you'd like to sign it to, drop me a message and I'll send you a copy of the email.

Over the last few weeks in South Africa, a two year old was abducted from her crèche and raped and left in the bush, where she was found crawling around and crying, by an old woman, two hours after her abduction.

Another child in a pre-primary school was molested, and the authorities have done nothing. We have all heard the story of Sheldean Human who was abducted and brutally murdered close to her home.

A while ago a 3 year old girl was beaten and raped. She is still alive. The man responsible was released on bail. He is walking the streets.

If you are too busy to read this then just sign your name and forward this on. The Government is planning to close the child protection unit and this is a petition against it. This is a very important petition. It is an essential part of the justice system for children.

You may have already heard that there's a myth in South Africa that having sex with a virgin will cure AIDS. The younger the virgin, the more potent the cure. This has led to an epidemic of rapes by infected males, with the correspondent infection of innocent kids. Many have died in these cruel rapes.

Recently in Cape Town , a 9-month-old baby was raped by 6 men. Please think about that for a moment.

The child abuse situation is now reaching catastrophic proportions and if we don't do something, then who will?

Please don't be complacent, do something about the kids of South Africa . You can make a difference. This is just one of the million cases of child abuse, so please pledge your support and help keep CPU (CHILD PROTECTION UNIT) open. Please give your support to the petition and ensure that it goes to as many people as possible. Please don't just leave it, make a difference. In order to write your name copy this message and paste it in a new mail (compose). Or click on forward and add your name to the list and send it on to others.

America, land of the beautiful, the good and bla, bla, bla

2008-02-09T03:13:00.001-08:00

America,land of the beautiful, land of the good...land of the bla, bla, bla. Leigh Dragoon posted the link to this article: Veterans having no legal right to specific types of medical care, the Bush administration argues in a lawsuit accusing the government of illegally denying mental health treatment to some troops returning from Iraq and Afghanistan.

Reading it made me feel really sick. I wouldn't be human if this didn't move me one bit. Talk about all kinds of ways in which the Bush Administration has failed to show it has a heart.

I remember seeing a clip on youtube about a young soldier. He was crouched down under a table or a bench during mortar fire. The young soldier just kept on crying and repeating over and over again, oh god, oh god, let it stop.

I question a government that drafts young men and pushes them into a war they didn't ask for. I question a government that does not have the heart to care for the needs of these young men when war has broken and shattered pieces of who they are forever.

2008-02-04T02:21:00.001-08:00

There's this Filipina writer living in France, whose essay won second place in last year's Carlos Palanca awards. I am hoping she'll be open to doing an interview for Munting Nayon. So here's keeping fingers and toes crossed.

Her winning essay can be found
here.

writer's economics

2008-01-31T08:59:00.000-08:00

Some Stats:

I'm doing better than I thought.

Since January 2008:

New stories written: 4
stories polished: 6
stories out: 8
rejections: 2 very nice ones. (One market liked the piece but the piece didn't fit the market. The second reject was also a positive one, liked the piece but was overbooked on that subject (alas) and an invite to send in something else on another subject.)

I've got my pdf copy of Flash Me Magazine where my story, Gift, appears.

Here's what Jeannie Eddy has to say about Gift: “This tension-filled, goosebump-inducing tale gives new meaning to our fear of things that go bump in the night.”

Flash Me is one of the best markets for flash fiction (there aren't very many of those around), and I'm really pleased to have made it in there.

I did it

2008-01-28T14:08:00.000-08:00

For sometime now, I've been working towards having enough extra cash on-hand to buy a luxury thing called an LCD tv/monitor. After serious contemplation of consumer reviews, I had my heart set on a Samsung LCDtv. In the reviews I've read the Samsung LCDtvs have received consistent high marks from previous buyers.

I've now got a Samsung SyncMaster932mw, and it looks very cool and everything just looks brighter and easier on the eye. Plus it is a spacesaver too.

It's also got reasonable specs for the price I paid for it. There are online stores that offer this product, but I wanted to go to a real live store and see the product for myself. Mediamarkt (one of the biggest electronic stores in NL) had a Monday special where all LCDtvs were being sold at 19% less. I have to laugh thinking of how sales work, but considering that the mark-off brought me in the same price range as buying the product online, I can't complain. I think I got the flatscreen at a fair price.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow evening when Jan gets around to programming the television part. It will be interesting to see how that views.

Funny how the writer always intrudes into blogs meant to be separate from writing

2008-01-27T12:19:00.000-08:00

No internet for the past couple of days. Somewhere in a town nearby something happened to one of the cables and we were offline for a day or so.

I signed up for a course meant for Sunday School teachers, and boy that is some heavy stuff. The lectures were in Dutch, and both days were pretty intensive. I ended up taking notes in English because he was talking so fast, there was no way my brain could process listening and writing it down in Dutch too (spelling and conjugations), so I opted for english, and hope I'll be able to do a good translate when test period comes around.

I remember being in doubt as to whether I'd done the right thing when I said yes to Mrs. Feliciano when she asked if she could include the essays from my poetic memoir. This came after hearing that one reader thought my memoirs were somewhat negative. I found myself struggling with that question. I looked at the ms again and I know that it's not all positive, but the end of this ms is filled with hope, with the wish for better things, with the embracing of self and of God.

It's odd that I should get this insight while sitting in a roomful of eager Sunday School teachers. I remembered writing the draft for the ms. I remembered sitting down after seven years of not writing and asking God to give me the words. I also remember telling him that if he really wanted me to write, he'd have to prove it to me. So, how come the first feedback I got was negative?

The lecturer then said something that made it very clear to me that I had written exactly what needed to be written. He said: It's our job to do what God wants us to do. What the other person does with it is their business. I realized then that I had done what God wanted me to do. I had written down the ms in the way it was meant to be written. If it helps someone that's a blessing, if someone takes offence, that's their choice. I came away from the first two lecture days thinking of how God summons each of us to do a certain thing. Maybe my job isn't as spectacular as the person who's helping orphaned kids in the jungles of Uganda, but I am doing what the Lord of the Kingdom commissioned me to do.

I tend to be quite forgetful, and so I wanted to post some points that I set as personal goals when I launched out on this writing voyage:

Challenge 1: Write better than your best
Challenge 2: Do not be satisfied with mediocre
Challenge 3: Push outside of the box
Challenge 4: Do not limit yourself and do not limit God
Challenge 5: Promote writers whose work you believe in (love other writers...get to know their work...and don't let religion stand in the way of promoting the other--good stuff is good stuff).
Challenge 6: Do not fall into bigotry, do not be afraid of criticque, take every piece of advice to heart and learn from every rejection.
Challenge 7: Trust God to take your work where its meant to go

On the 4th challenge, I have to think of something the lecturer said about the Bible. He was giving us an illustration of various stories from the New Testament...for instance: Jesus walking on water, Jesus raising the dead to life etc. etc. He then said another something that made the puzzle in my head go click. He said: "The bible is full of strange stories. If you read the Bible, you'll be quite surprised to see how everything reads like stuff out of fantasy, but it is truth. Our God is a God of wild imagination and supernatural stuff."

I sat there thinking to myself, yes...God is supernatural and I bet that if he were a writer in this day, he would be writing speculative fiction too :)

As a christian writer, I believe in the redemptive power of the word. The word has the power to give life and to kill. The word stings us, the word opens our eyes to truth. The word was after all what God used to bring creation to life. Writing is part of my life and my struggle. I remember conducting an inspiring interview with Lynn Austin. The interview is in archive over at The Sword Review and the answers she gave me back then continue to be an encouragement as I seek to write what God wants me to write.

Here's a quote from the Lynn Austin Interview:

I think a book can be Christian and not mention God. Again, it’s a question of worldview. One of the reasons I began to write is because I was so tired of reading books that were beautifully written but the underlying philosophy was “Life is hard and then you die. It’s meaningless.” I agree that life is hard—but God is good. To me, it’s this underlying message of hope and salvation and meaning that makes a book “Christian”—whether it mentions God or not.

I will never be able to please every Christian reader. I would be wrong to try to. I need to remain true to what I feel God wants me to write, and let readers be free to read what their consciences dictate.

samuel's birthday is coming up

2008-01-19T09:25:00.000-08:00

Samuel will be celebrating his first birthday next week, and that means stretching our budget to allow for the extra expense. We've been racking our heads for gifts, but we're faced with the same dilemma that parents who have kids of the same sex probably face.

Samuel has inherited so many clothes, so many toys, and so many shoes that it's quite a challenge to come up with something he hasn't got. At one year, kids don't really know what birthday means, that comes way later when they realize birthday is coupled with presents. So, for Samuel's birthday, we've settled on getting him a great big cake that we can share with all our guests.

Back in the Philippines, a birthday isn't a real birthday unless the table is groaning with food and there's a huge birthday cake on the table. And if it's a kiddy's birthday and folks are determined to spend, there's this theory about the presence of a monstrous bee or one of his cohorts being a sure guarantee of a successful kiddy feast.

Over here, folks are quite "nuchter" (in other words, no bees or cohorts at Samuel's first birthday). Most birthdays are celebrated with coffee, tea, cake and cookies. Anything else is optional. I suppose it's my background though...I won't feel I've celebrated his birthday until I've done a little extra. So I am making mini-lumpias, and egg things to serve along with chips and slices of cucumber and carrots and some cherry tomatoes (yup...we are going the healthy route).

A break down of typical birthdays over here:

1. serve cake with coffee or tea
2. serve cookies or bonbons with second cup of coffee or tea
3. serve juices, softdrinks with finger foods
4. chips with refills

In between, there's a lot of talking and chattering going on. The hostess/host of the birthday runs continually between living room and kitchen as refills are needed.

When I was fresh from the PH, I noticed that not asking for the second cup of coffee or tea results in the host or hostess skipping me over for cookies or bonbons. As I grow more acquainted with the culture I think I understand why guests take that 2nd cup.

My theory is this...if you really want to be polite, you have to stay about an hour or so. If you don't know anyone at the party, the best way to camouflage this is to take tiny sips from your cup of tea while listening in politely to the two ladies on your left who seem to have known each other since forever--and nodding as if you understand everything they're talking about. By the time you've consumed your second cup of tea, your polite hour and a half has gone by. You can safely refuse the offered glass of softdrink, stand up with some prefabricated excuse and leave without offending your host/hostess the tiniest bit.

I'm going out on a limb here . This is actually the secret to how I've managed to get through birthdays and parties where I didn't know a single soul except the person who invited me. I've developed a new technique though...aside from the sipping my tea, I bring the baby/toddler with me(lol).

The Nibud Agenda

2008-01-18T13:35:00.000-08:00

I love the Nibud Agenda. It's a little thing with spaces for daily appointments, columns for monies received and monies paid out, and it's also got a planner that's meant to help families figure out how much they are spending on clothes, gifts, transportation and all that. It's like a mini-accounting book, only it's less complicated.

What I've been doing is using this agenda not only to note down my weekly and daily appointments, but I also have been noting down how much I spend every week on groceries, visits to the shops, gifts, etc. etc.

I also have tried to keep a record of monies received from my piano students and other stuff.

I've only been using this agenda since the start of this month, and the idea is to list down all expenses for an entire month before doing a sum-up and deciding what has to go and what gets to stay.

I've been really thrifty this week. Mainly because I've been unable to bike with my thumb still swollen up and painful. The pain has receded as has the swelling, but I haven't been out of the house since Tuesday afternoon when I managed to slam the backdoor on it.

Sometime next week, I'll have to sit down and do my balancing act. With my piano students back to their regular schedules, it'll possible for me to calculate how long it will take me to save up for things I really want/need.

process

2008-01-17T02:55:00.000-08:00

Here's an image I'm working on for a possible story. Also some poems generated from this image. The way I work on a new story sometimes follows this route. I write down an image, poem the mc's emotions, mull over it, and when the time's right, the story will come.

Leaving the Country
Rochita Loenen-Ruiz

Behind the desk, a smooth-faced man smiles and nods his head. He bares his teeth in a grin and accepts paper money hidden between crinkly pages of bond paper. Everyone knows his secret, but it doesn’t make him any less businesslike.

He takes the papers, slides them into a drawer in one smooth movement. An adept-- it’s easy to believe he is innocent and has no knowledge of the bills smoothened out by a flat iron so they appear fresh from the bank.

It’s a simple matter to attach a seal to the end of a wooden stamp. It doesn’t take much effort to lift the stamp, press it into the inkpad and make an indention on the sheet of paper lying in front of him.

He nods his head, stands up at the same time you do. He reaches out grasps your hand in his.

Congratulations, he says. I wish you all success.

And you feel you deserve the words after all the months of chasing after bureaucrats.

You take the paper. You feel its weight. So light, and yet so heavy.

Don’t lose it, the man admonishes.

And you know you won’t because this paper has cost you sweat and tears. Days of scrimping and saving in order to gather together what amounts to a small treasure.

Only a matter of time now, you tell yourself.

You leave the room, and in your mind you are already leaving the country. You are leaving behind this stench of sweat and blood, this memory of rotting consciences and murdered ideals.

Leaving the Country

Leave behind this
dust, this
wretched--

this earth stained
with blood,
and

memory.

Leave.
Leave this
cradle of dreams

broken, torn from
hands wrinkled,
lined,

trembling,
helpless against
an invincible foe.

Release

memories
of winds
in mango season

waves
breaking on
Mindanao’s southern quay

rice
planted--harvested
by eager hands

chants
sang full-bodied
on the crossing.

Don’t look back
in case
regret

tugs
holds you
shakes your resolve

Leave
Leave this
Leave this memory

This
Sky bitter
With indentions of

Land
Torn from
Hands grown weary

of fighting for a place to call your own

And Still

I may have left behind
Mountain and hill, sea and sky
But I carry with me the scent of mangoes
Ripening under a summer sun

the memory of palm leaves rustling
in an afternoon breeze
while the sun transforms the sea
awash with debris into glory

I carry these with me
snapshots of a life I had

No matter where I go
I still call myself Filipino.

2008-01-15T01:38:00.001-08:00

Have written my Munting Nayon Column. Munting Nayon now has a website. It's http://mnnetherlands.com. There's this great piece on there about the Noli Me Tangere written by Basilio Valdehuesa. Good stuff.

2008-01-12T13:13:00.000-08:00

There's a review on Hope Away from Home at The Book Buzz. I wanted to say thanks to Molly for her kind words.

I find it interesting whenever I hear of how readers read/respond to a given work.

**

This afternoon, I was able to connect with Evelyn Miranda-Feliciano, and I'm very pleased she's finally getting an internet connection. There's also been some feedback coming in with regards to Hope Away from Home, and also with regards to the "My Skin, Us" piece (published both in HAH and Route).

**

When I wrote the pieces included in Hope Away from Home, I had no idea they would land within the pages of a book. To me, these pieces were part of a letter I was writing to myself. I needed to make sense of the pieces of my life, and to understand everything I'd experienced. Not everyone has had the same experience I have had, but I think that for everyone who's experienced uprootment, there is a point of recognition.

The story I wrote is the truth of my experience. There are readers who may say there is a lot of negative in my story. And I think, yes, it is true. The experience of uprootment, of losing yourself, of going through discrimination, of knowing humiliation, these are not positive things. And yet, the positive thing I see in all of these is how I needed to go through all these experiences in order to see and to discover this God who burns away everything that is extraneous and unnecessary so that I depend on him alone.

It is through this experience that I am able to embrace the truth of my failures, my loss, my homesickness, myself. It is through this experience that I am able to look at the people in this society and understand that underneath it all, we are all the same. We all ache, we all grieve, we all experience loss, and we all know what it means to be a stranger.

(I am no longer afraid to engage God in conversation because I know that it is in engaging him, it is in discussing my life with him that he becomes truly real. I do argue with God, who doesn't? Is there a rule against carrying on discussions and disagreeing with what's going on in your present life? If there was some rule against it, then God would have created robots instead of beings with free will. )

Struggle continues to be part of my life as a migrant. In a society where we are constantly made conscious of our "allochtoon" identity, it is impossible not to struggle against being othered.

While I am proud of being different, I am also afraid of that difference. We live in a world wherein those who are different are often rejected or outcast. So, I have taught my son to speak up for himself--to say clearly and firmly when he does not like certain things. I have taught him to stand up and speak out against bullying and being bullied. I have also reminded my son that there is nothing wrong with being just the person who he is.

And while I am thankful that he is well-liked by his peers, I am well aware that he has been teased by his classmates for having a mother who is different, who speaks different, and who says words different.

The way I see it, what others think of me and what others think of us isn't important. What matters to me is being able to bring up my children with a sense of self and a recognition of their true worth in the eyes of God. We were all created equal.

Woman is not man's subordinate. Brown skin is not less than white. And because I come from a third world country and speak another language doesn't mean I am of lesser worth.

(to be continued...)

secret lives

2008-01-10T05:28:00.000-08:00

I had a conversation with my across-the-street neighbor who told me that at certain levels of society people are expected to act the same, speak the same, be the same. Deviation from the norm often equals being treated as an outsider. At certain levels of society, the person who is "you" is valued for uniqueness. It all depends on what level you want to be in.

I have a secret life. To the outside world, I am a regular mom. I try my best to cope with mommy stuff, I try to talk and act just as every other regular housewife/mommy acts. In secret, I am a writer of various things. What's more secret is that I write speculative fiction.

Not very many people know about my secret life. My across-the-street neighbor knows, but that's because she also has a secret life and I can't tell you about that because it's her secret.

Anyway, we were talking to each other and speculating on how many of these ordinary moms like me led secret lives. It would be interesting to find out, wouldn't it?

Except, my Dutch friend says, except you'll never know because it's secret.

start-up

2008-01-07T10:25:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about a lot of things. My aunt, being ill and in the hospital, and me not being able to go home before 2009. I've decided to try my best to send out as many stories as I can this year.

***

Homefront

On the homefront, classes have started up. Today was really windy weather. It took such effort to keep from being blown off the bike today. Phew! What a wind that was.

The start of classes also represents the return of my piano and voice students. Yay! I had three students today and I am soooo glad they're back. I loved the vacation, but Lord knows I am thankful for the cash :)

***
Marktplaats

I've also managed to find a decent buyer for Jan's flying overalls through Marktplaats. I shall check and see if he's sent his payment, then I can put the package in the post.

There's something sad/nostalgic about saying goodbye to these bits and pieces of Jan's life before he married me.

Life does change and we are creating our own adventures together. Secretly, I hope he does get to keep some of the stuff. I mean, he used to love gliding.

Going to take some pics of stuff that could be sellable. I've got this once used babybag,something for the baby chair, some baby clothes that have only been worn once and a shantala bath tub. It won't bring in big cash, but at least, it will create room in our already overcrowded attic.

***
The writing life

I've had two recent acceptances. One story which is coming out at the end of this month and the other at a date not yet known. I did sign contracts and all that already.

I've been writing lots. Since last week, I've completed two new short stories, I've completed the rough draft on another one, and I have submitted a grand total of three stories.

This year should see an increase in my rejection-acceptance ration as my submission ratio increases. I have determined to submit at least 10 stories this year. Biting the bit and doing it too. Kill that pain.

I shall also try to write at least 10 new completed stories this year and I shall do my best to complete rewrites on at least five of the stories stored away and waiting for the final version.

I shall also have to do something with 59 Beads as I haven't touched it yet. It needs a good look-over. I just might do a complete rewrite and retitle the thing into the bargain.

***

Survival tips for the sale season

2008-01-02T12:01:00.001-08:00

1. Make a list. List down the things you need, and list down the things you want. Those are two different things.

2. Create a budget. Say to yourself, I will not spend beyond a certain amount at this time.

3. Create time limits.

4. Allow yourself to walk out of a shop without buying anything.

5. When it comes to making a purchase, ask yourself this question: Is this item something I will enjoy using or is this item something I'm buying because it represents a desired status.

6. Don't let yourself get starstruck (by branded items). Make sure that the size is right, that it feels good, and that you love it.

7. Don't panic. Comparison shop because what may seem low-priced in one store could be even priced lower in another store.

8. Relativity is good. Will my life be totally shattered if I don't buy this thing? (Some folks say: I will totally die if I don't have such and such. How true is this statement? Would you really die if you didn't have it?)

9. Ask yourself the question, do I really need this? (my dad does that all the time. More often than not, the answer is : I don't really need this.)

10. If there's something left over after considering the needs part of your list, perhaps you can allow yourself some of the I want part. (I confess my wants are all about books. If I've bought myself a good book, I won't want anything else.)

11. The best way to make sure you stick to your budget during a sale is to bring your budget in cash. When the cash runs out, the budget's gone. You are still allowed to windowshop.

12. Buying is fun, but if buying is the be-all and end-all of a shopping trip...then maybe it's time to check your emotional state.

Oh...and perhaps the best budget keeper I´ve had is taking my son along with me. When I get to browsing tops and skirts and dresses, he says: But mom, don't you have enough of those things already?

Sale Season is ON

2008-01-02T11:43:00.000-08:00

Sale season is on and shops everywhere are busy, busy, busy. Most of the shoppers are moms like me. Budget-conscious housewives who know that this time of year is the ideal time to go shopping for next year's winter clothes, and this time of year is perfect to buy your son the "brand name" shoe he's been begging you for since the start of the school year.

This sale season, I bought myself a lovely thick winter coat and next year's supply of winter pants. I also got the coolest jeans for Joel Jan and a very, very hip vest (which he totally loves) at a buy three and pay for two sale. I think we've done quite well. Samuel's been the really lucky one though. We've had a fresh staple of clothing delivered to our doorstep for free. All these lovely things are inherited from the children of friends who've outgrown them and they look barely used.

This afternoon's fun was a visit to the town of Gouda where they've set up this skating rink. Joel went skating with Karin (his niece) and with a friend we run into. It was a lovely afternoon. Quite chilly, but wonderful.

I think of how much pleasure can be had from watching our kids enjoy themselves. The highlight of the afternoon was seeing Joel's look of pride when he realized he could really skate. I'm glad there's no pricetag on that particular item.

The Old Year's Last Rant

2007-12-31T07:23:00.000-08:00

I was online at the same time as my bro and he told me to check out a clip on youtube. The clip is from a young filipina (15 yrs. old) named Charice Pempengco. The threads on this young lady's clips(check out the Star King episodes)are quite lengthy and full of positive thoughts.

Browsing through these clips, I couldn't help thinking of a young child star who won the International Star Search in the US when she was 10 years old. Everytime I hear a belter, I think of that young child star and I wonder what happened to her. I remember sitting in front of the tv and keeping my fingers and my toes crossed and not saying anything for fear it would jinx whatever mojo was bringing that young girl to victory, and when she won, I remember we were all joyful and tearful at home.

But after that, it was like total silence closed about the girl, and we didn't hear even a single peep about what happened next.

Thank goodness for the internet though. I googled and found this, which was like a nutshell history of what happened to Banig after she won the International Start Search.

So, I thought to myself, if Charice has youtube vids, I bet Banig has got some too and perhaps it's possible to trace her progress through the vids. So, I went over to youtube typed in Banig and got a line-up of vids. Of course,some of these were not related to her whatsoever, but there are some really great vids of a concert in2003 which gives the listener an idea of how her voice has changed/evolved since those childhood days.

I suppose the waning of an old year is a suitable time for nostalgia. But I watched those vids, thought of that brave little girl, and well, I couldn't help feeling really proud that she's gone on to fulfill her dream.

On another thread there were some negative comments about Charice's english, I thought to myself...good heavens people, I mean this child grew up in the Philippines. Over here in NL, your ordinary 15 year old doesn't speak english. I mean, I know. I live here, and I have tried speaking english to 15 year olds who just giggle and smile because they don't understand what I'm talking about. So, why is it that we're so quick to crack down on a Filipina who can't speak straight english?

Would we do that so easily to a girl who grew up in Holland? Would we be as easy to criticize someone who can't speak English if she came from a "western" country?

I remember back in the days when I was starting out as a writer, someone told me that no matter what I did I would never be able to write english as a native english speaker would.

So what? I think that if we all decided that was the standard we would have to reach in order to succeed, then we would all sound alike...and who wants stories and fiction and songs and art that all sound like they came out of the same pressing machine. We'd all be robots then, wouldn't we?

This has sort of evolved into a rant...so I'm ending it here and wishing everyone a unique changing of the year. May 2008 be filled with good things, good things, good things...and of course...with lots and lots of stories and publications ;)

And finally, here's the link to Banig's MySpace. Very cool.

linkage

2007-12-30T12:24:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to add Leigh Dragoon to the links on my side thing. Byzarium's still one of my favorite zines, and through the artworks regularly used on the site, I've become acquainted with the work of some excellent artists.

There's also quite a number of interesting discussions going on all the time on her blog. I could just fritter away time reading the posts and the threads that issue from the posts.

Here's the link:

Leigh's Sketchblog

writer's economics

2007-12-28T02:09:00.000-08:00

payment received

2007-12-23T13:33:00.000-08:00

Received amidst a flurry of christmas cards : two american dollars as payment for How to Prepare a Head.

Saving that for when I finally cross the ocean.

Revving up for the great send out come January. During the christmas break, I plan to write every morning for at least an hour. This will mean still waking up when it's dark, but it gives me the advantage of being up before Joel Jan and Samuel are up.

Seven stories in the waiting. Two of them just need to be printed out, put in an envelope and sent out with SASE. Five need a bit of tweaking before I send them out.

Currently reading: Nancy Kress's, Beginnings, Middles and Endings. She has got great points.

That's my christmas rush.

***

Outlining next year's book proposal. At times like this, I wish I could go home and have immediate access to all the data. I will be patient...

***

living without

2007-12-20T11:49:00.001-08:00

It's been a couple of months since the tv was relegated to the upstairs bedroom. While Joel Jan does make the trek upstairs every now and then, downstairs with the lights and with people about has a stronger pull on him, and it's easier to implement time limits on watching tv.

These days, there's an increase in household serenity. After the kids are both in bed and I'm done checking my email and finishing the necessary column, hubby and I have time to spend together chatting and sharing not only about our day but also about the things we're passionate about.

I have to think of how easy it is for married couples to lose sight of each other in the process of raising kids, earning a living, and just trying to get by. Back in the days when tv was a huge black presence in the living room, we'd both spend hours zapping aimlessly from one station to another. True, we'd be sitting side by side, but somehow the evening would end with me zapping around while Jan dozed off beside me. Not exactly the way to spice up a marriage.

These past months without tv, we've been communicating more openly with each other, and this week, we decided that it was time to reinstall our together time which meant sharing with each other, praying as man and wife, and taking the time to just listen and be there.

This holiday season, with Joel Jan being home a lot more than usual, I think I'm going to implement one of Mary's suggestions and take the time to sit down with him and watch his favorite tv show. I'm quite curious what discussions we'll have after he's finished watching it.

After all, we do discuss the stories I've read in Interzone...and yes...Joel has got his own favorites too...but that's something for another time.

2007-12-20T02:21:00.000-08:00

Holiday Moods:

How to Prepare a Head (my gory hay(na)ku)is now up at Sam's Dot Publishing.

At the same time, my Christmas column which was supposed to come out on Monday at Haruah, has been picked up by TeenAge Magazine and The Sword Review.

Busy, busy, busy. I finally have sat down to write out Christmas cards and greetings. I'm almost done, so I thought I'd sit down and post about the above.

Enjoy.

Sharing and a chance to win 150 conversation starters

2007-12-15T06:19:00.000-08:00

Last summer, I joined a blogtour for Mary de Muth's latest book, Authentic Parenting in a Post Modern Culture. Recently, I received an email from Mary with the following article which I'd like to share on this blog. A lot of the points in this article are points that I'm in agreement with and while I haven't practiced all of them yet, there are a number of things in there that I certainly intend to implement as we strive to raise our kids so that they grow up to be adults who aren't afraid to engage and interact with the world around them.

Here's the article in full:

One of the questions author Mary DeMuth (Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture) gets asked in radio interviews is this: What can a parent do to help kids filter their media intake? Her answer: Strategically engage. The following is five ways to help re-engage your kids in a media-saturated culture.

Bio: Mary E. DeMuth loves to help folks turn their trials into triumphs. Her books include Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God (Harvest House, 2005), Building the Christian Family You Never Had (WaterBrook, 2006), Watching the Tree Limbs, Wishing on Dandelions (NavPress, 2006), and Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture (Harvest House 2007). A mother of three, Mary lives with her husband Patrick and their three children in Texas. They recently returned from Southern France where they planted a church. Learn more at www.marydemuth.com

Five Ways to Engage Disengaged Kids
By Mary E. DeMuth

In a world of Halo, iphones, and IM, how do parents strategically engage their tuned-out kids? How can we create the kinds of homes that are irresistible to our children, enticing enough to make them tune out from games, media and texting and tune in to the rhythms of family life? Five ways.

One: Offer ‘em Something Better

The most enticing thing to a kid is community—real, authentic, God-breathed community. To create this, learn to do the following:

• Say you’re sorry when you’re wrong and ask forgiveness.
• Strive to become the person you want your child to become. Practice reconciliation, open communication, and serving each other.
• Listen, really listen to your kids. Give them eye-time. Don’t uh-huh their concerns, but strive to ask great questions to draw them out. Be willing to share your own struggles with your kids.
• Plan meal times together. And when you do, talk! One way to foster great communication is to have questions already prepared. For a sample, click here: http://www.marydemuth.com/files/Qsample.pdf. To purchase all 150, click here: http://www.marydemuth.com/store.php. To win them, click here: http://relevantblog.blogspot.com/2008/01/win-150-conversation-starters.html
• Have an unplug day—no phones, TV, gaming systems, and return to old fashioned board games, taking walks outside, and reading together.
• Resist DVDs in the minivan. Try books on tape instead—a wonderful way to engage your child’s mind. Discuss the book afterward.
• Welcome others into your home. Be the house all the kids want to congregate in.

Two: If You Can’t Beat ‘em, Join ‘em

Our kids will see movies; they will watch TV shows. Instead of always pushing against that, sit down next to your child and watch shows and movies together. Then use the time afterwards to discuss these questions:

• What is the worldview of this movie?
• What kind of person is the main character? Is she someone you want to be like?
• What lies does this movie perpetuate?
• What does this show say about materialism?
• What part of this movie showed God’s love?

Strategically engaging alongside our kids in the very thing we’re leery of does two things: It shows our kids we are willing to sacrifice our own desires to spend time with them. And it helps prepare them to better discern the movies and media they watch.

Three: Explore Different Ways to Celebrate Sabbath

Taking time away from the crazy rush-rush of a media saturated world is a counter-cultural move your family can take. Choose a day or afternoon for rest. Limit media that day. Choose to engage in artistic, creative endeavors together:

• If a child loves music, encourage him to write a song or create an unusual soundtrack.
• Supply kids with all sorts of visual arts tools: paint, brushes, magazines, pens, glue, and let them create. If you need focus, think of five families or friends who need to be encouraged, then create cards for each one.
• Let your kids have free reign of the video camera. Encourage them to make a movie. Then watch it together as a family, complete with popcorn.
• Pull out that karaoke machine.
• Read together.
• Do a puzzle or play board games.

Four: Go Outside

We are a disconnected culture, defining ourselves by the great indoors and cyberworlds. To combat that in your family, dare to open the front door and walk on out. Take strolls with your kids. Find a local park or wilderness preserve to poke around in. Hike together. Feed the ducks. Launch rockets. Play Frisbee. Kick the ball around. Ride bikes. Pick up garbage along the road. Skateboard. Make going outside as much of a habit as going outside.

Five: Focus Outward

Computers and movies and TV and phones focus us inward. Instead, seek to find ways to focus your family outward toward the needs of the world. Sponsor a child in a third world country. Go on a mission trip as a family and take a year together to plan it. Find a cause to support—like digging wells in Africa or alleviating AIDS. Volunteer at a nursing home. Muddying our feet and hands in the real needs of the world gives kids a greater picture of the world and pulls them away from the artificial, often narcissistic world they live in.

It is possible to re-engage your disengaged child. It takes effort, creativity and pluck, but it can be done. The reward? A rejuvenated, connected relationship with your child that no gadget can compare to.

Copyright, Mary E. DeMuth, posted here with permission from the author.

If you'd like a chance to win 150 conversation starters, there's a contest going on at Mary's blog (http://relevantblog.blogspot.com/2008/01/win-150-conversation-starters.html) Just click on the link or copy and paste into your browser and go there.

It's Arrived

2007-12-14T02:55:00.001-08:00

Thanks to editor, Beng Alba, who had this package sent via Fedex so I wouldn't have to wait three months for it to arrive :)

Samuel's Teletubby Coat

2007-12-13T06:38:00.000-08:00

Here's our Samuel in the Teletubby Coat.

coat economics

2007-12-13T06:06:00.000-08:00

Coat economics, the Dutch mommy way:

Everybody knows Dutch mommies have at least two coats for every season. One coat is the everyday coat. This is the coat that mommies throw on when they take their kids to school, pick kids up from school, take out those trash containers, do gardening, do the grocery shopping, wash the windows, and all sorts of menial outdoorsy stuff in. This is the coat that's generally rain-resistant, mostly dirt-resistant, and is more often than not, washable. The everyday coat may cost a lot more than the good coat, but that's okay. You have to have a really good everyday coat because it's got to endure a lot of wear--day in, day out.

The second coat is the good coat. This is probably a wollen type coat. Mine's an a-line cut and greyish with nice rough texture. It's quite pretty and isn't too long. It's quite sturdy, and it's warm enough for if I need a presentable coat to wear over dinner clothes, party clothes or whatever occassion clothing. I choose grey because black is just so black and grey goes with just about anything in my wardrobe.

Some mommies (the really well-off ones) have a third or a fourth coat, depending on how fashion conscious and brand conscious they are. There are some mommies who color-coordinate their coats. Ummm...well...I'm not one of those or maybe I'm just not fashion conscious enough.

Coat economics apply not only to Dutch mommies, but to Dutch daddies and to Dutch children as well. As a matter of fact, it seems to apply to just about everybody Dutch. Amazingly enough, the only person in this family with the luxury of choosing whatever color or type of coat to wear is our Samuel. His coat wardrobe is quite extensive. I think he's got about four coats to choose from, in all.

Our favorite thus far has been the "Teletubby coat" that he inherited from a friend. I'll have a look through my files and see if I can find a picture of him in the teletubby coat.

So why this treatise on coats? My everyday mommy coat has decided it's time to retire...so I'll have to head out to the shops soon and get myself a replacement.

Only trouble is, there are so many coats out there, and trying to match personal style and taste to the right color, right size and right price is usually quite time consuming.

One reason I love windowshopping: I don't have to buy anything.

2007-12-11T04:36:00.000-08:00

dreams
i read
in your eyes

child
of today
plundered, forgotten, found

lost again and
reclaimed by
whom?

***

My aunt lived and worked among the Mamanwa people of Surigao. They were curly haired, wandering folk who lived in the mountains. She slept with them under the arms of trees. She was a young woman when she began--graduate of nursing, doctor's daughter, home from the US after intensive training.

She did not ask for fame or recognition. She never asked for her name to be broadcast in capital letters.

For years, she wandered as the tribespeople wandered.

Under the ceiling of sky she slept. I wonder if she dreamt of the day she would live again within the enclosure of four walls. How must it feel, I wonder.

In time, her patience bore fruit. The tribespeople learned to read, and write. They learned to till the land, to plant vegetables, to tame the mountain, to build houses with walls. But the sky kept on calling to them and the land and the longing to wander still flowed in their veins.

My aunt grew old among these people. She never married. These people are her children, these tribe is her family, the mountain became her home.

They weathered storms.

First, came the soldiers and the rebels.

"Why must we choose sides when all we want is peace?"

Then, came the loggers.

And then, the miners ...

They chased the people off the mountains, there is copper in the ground or some such precious ore. For profit's sake, the tribe is driven off... again, and again, and again.

This is the inheritance of a generation to come. Deep caverns emptied of wealth, mountains denuded of trees, a government that has sold off the future for a fortune that does not last.

My aunt has grown old with memories of children lost to forgotten wars. Her hands tremble when she writes--a legacy from years carrying heavy bundles up and down the mountains. Her dreams are haunted by shadows in uniform. Out of the corner of her eyes, she sees apparitions. They are there, she cries. Men who come to steal away the innocent, men who come to steal away the land.

There is no shelter.

In this land, in this country of our broken dreams, our desire is frustrated, our longing for a better future is put to death by our fellowmen.

*********update note*************

Apparently what these miners are shipping to China is laterites with 1.5% to 2% Nickel and cobalt. The Chinese are also buying laterites from Palawan and so far they have shipped more than 2million tons of these soil.

They are shipping our soil? Transferring shiploads of earth from PH to China? That's a mind-boggling thing. OMG, the sf dwende is jumping around inside my brain.

bikes and cars

2007-12-11T02:07:00.000-08:00

We've been carless for about a year now. One year on bikes. Through rain and shine, through the cold and through the heat. I recently read this article about a family that decided to get rid of their car and who do all their travelling by public transport and by bike (just like us). This family says their decision is a conscious choice prompted by concern for the environment and a need to de-stress their lives.

While I contemplate driving lessons for next year, I'm thinking of how our lives and our activities haven't been gravely curtailed due to the lack of a car. I actually feel that our experience as a biking and public transport family has helped us to slow down and prepare more.

Carlessness has also levered us the financial advantages of not having to pay taxes on a car and taxes on using the highway. That's how taxes are done over here. Not only do you pay tax for owning a car, you actually get taxed for using it and for using the road as well. The bigger your car, the more taxes you pay. Add to this the benefit of environmental friendliness.

I'm wondering if owning a car is wise or even necessary. I must confess I'm quite attached to my bike and am so used to taking the public transport. Maybe we'll just go carless for sometime and rent-a-car when the need arises. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. In the meantime, I acknowledge my need to get a driver's license.

I confess to not being very enthusiastic about learning to drive, but as my sister-in-law says, it is handy to have one...so, I suppose I better just square my shoulders and get to it.

2007-12-10T07:03:00.000-08:00

Here's the link to the Hope Away from Home book blurb: http://www.omflit.com/home/events.php?i=17

objects

2007-12-10T06:17:00.001-08:00

thinking of objects
objectification
objectify

I object.

DIY

2007-12-10T05:57:00.000-08:00

Joel's jeans have started to show wear and tear around the knees. Instead of heading off to the shop to buy a new pair of jeans, I decided to do some home repair. It's a simple matter of sewing the tears together and patching them up with some neat leather patches. The leather patches cost me one euro fifty a pair, and after I'd sewed them onto Joel's jeans, they looked really cool and hip...and very cowboyish.

Knowing how to sew, by hand or by machine, is a moneysaver. Shortening pants/jeans/skirts is quite easy, don't forget to trim the side seams so they aren't too thick for your ordinary sewing machine. Using the right needles and the right threads will give your clothing that professional finished off look.

I had a friend who paid 12 pounds for her jeans to be shortened. Wasted money. She had six pairs shortened and not one of them was shortened to the right size. Also, the tailoring service did not use the right kind of thread. When shortening jeans, use jeans-sized needles. There are special jeans threads on the market that are sturdy and leave you with jeans that look really finished.

Of course, if you live in the PH and you buy your jeans from one of those shops with free tailoring service, by all means have it done in the shop. Over here in NL, we don't have that luxury. Sometimes, you buy a pair of jeans on sale only to pay double the price to have it shortened. Yup. Those sewing lessons were a real investment.

Taking the time to do clothing repairs (in the evenings and during baby's naps) may seem tiresome, but in the long run, are well worth it.

****

Christmas DIY

Christmassy tablecloths can be rather pricey. At this time of year, the cloth merchant who visits our market every Tuesday has lovely sales of cloth at 5 euro per meter. I bought some beautiful burgundy colored cloth and am going to seam it and use this as my christmas tablecloth. We liked the color of the cloth so much that we've decided to purchase more cloth so I can make seat covers for our dining chairs as well.

Yup. We are in a holiday-diy-creative mood.

charitable???

2007-12-07T08:22:00.000-08:00

I do admire folks who are willing to invest time, finances and energy in charity. Last week, I did find myself questioning the purposes behind why certain people engage in what's called "charity".

We attended this birthday party where one of the guests (a slightly drunk Dutchman) stood up and announced that he and his wife and a couple of friends had put up this charity for the sake of helping out the poor (the poorest) in the Philippines. An admirable intention, to be sure. And that they had collected and sent a grand total of 80 balikbayan boxes filled with clothes, blankets, toys and whatnot and sent them all home to the Philippines wasn't something to be sneezed at.

Quite impressive, I thought.

In his slightly drunken state, this Dutch fellow then went on to expound on how they were doing this all for the sake of poor Filipinos. We were also informed that he and his board members did not gain any profit from this. And we would certainly see that in the albums that were going to be circulate among party guests.

This fellow wasn't a friend of ours and we had gone to the party because the one who'd invited us was a friend...we'd gone without our bags and wallets because they live just a street away and who needs money when going to a friend's birthday party?

Anyway, this fellow went around asking guests to purchase this gift package which consists of a symbolic gift cheque the amount of which was meant to fund the shipping of more goods to the Philippines. My girlfriend and I didn't have a cent on us, and when we told him this, he acted as if he couldn't believe our hardheartedness at not giving towards the poor whom he stressed were our countrymen and not his.

Uh-huh.

Well, the albums came around and they were filled with pages and pages of thank you letters with pictures of the smiling poor embracing stuffed toys, electronic toys, gadgets and what not.

Included in this album were clippings from local newspapers with photographs of this man in an overfull attic.

No, no. I'm not sneezing at this man's intentions. I certainly believe they were well-meant. Indeed, if I believed sending the cast offs of a well-off nation would help alleviate poverty in my home country, I'd do it without a second thought. What I did wonder at, was whether this charitable action really resulted in something concrete and life-changing.

Who does this charity really benefit? Is it meant to assuage a sense of guilt at living in a nation that's filled to the overflowing with castoffs? Is it meant to fulfill a longing to be seen as doing something great and wonderful? Call me cynical, but I couldn't help wondering whether this was an instance of poor brown folk being made to pose in front of the camera in thanks for the white man's largesse.

My interpretation of true charity would be one wherein folks engaging in it wouldn't feel the need to broadcast to the world at large that "here I am doing this wonderful thing for all you poor people" and "you must help me and support my cause because if not for people like us, you people would be nowhere at all."

I think of my fellow Pinoys who've given their lives towards supporting the less fortunate without a word of thanks. I think of my fellow Pinoys who travel the islands with a minimum of financial support just to bring medication and healing where no doctors and medical staff are. I think of my fellow pinoys who silently and without asking for praise carry on the work of caring for the poor. I think of fellow Pinoys who work among the tribes giving literacy lessons and living as the tribespeople do, because they care.

"Yes sir," I wanted to say to the tipsy dutchman. "Your intentions are well-meant, and your largesse is appreciated, I'm sure. Nevertheless, I know of men and women who've walked and worked among the very poor. I know men and women who sacrifice for these poor. I know men and women who don't say a word about their good deeds and who don't need the thank you letters in order to press on with their good work."

To my mind, that's worth a lot more than charity where folks give towards because whatever you give is tax-deductible. Thank you very much for your charity, but I wonder when this charity will move beyond the providence of material comforts to what really changes and betters life...meaning providing education, health and the infrastructure that will move us beyond dependence on your largesse and the fickleness 0f human nature.

To my fellow pinoys who serve without needing praise...I pray that the Lord will continue to bless you with largesse untainted by the need to kowtow to the "big white man".

examining buying habits: how do you buy and why?

2007-12-04T13:37:00.001-08:00

I've got a guest over from the UK and due to the euro-pound exchange, my guest perceives prices in the Netherlands as being quite cheap and reasonable as compared to UK prices.

She's been spoiling us quite dreadfully and I confess to this making me look at my recent purchasing habits.

Recently, I've taken to looking at price tags first before considering whether an item would be attractive to me. The lower the price tag, the more interesting a product becomes. My friend, looks at a product first in terms of whether she likes it enough to consider buying it. The price tag is secondary.

We'd been looking at some designer websites and comparing prices on bags and shoes. Inspite of her not being budget-minded, even my friend found it quite puzzling that some people would actually pay a thousand dollars for a handbag. Some people meaning not people like the Ayalas who have tons of money, nor one of those rich oil-heirs and heiresses, but rather ordinary working people who are deep in credit trouble because of the desire to own not one, not two, but a roomful of designer bags or designer shoes.

In my frugal state of mind, I find the idea of spending a hundred euros on a handbag mind-boggling enough.

Nevertheless, I found myself thinking of the way I buy. Am I going too extreme by considering prices first?

travel

2007-12-03T00:15:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, we made a daytrip to Cologne. We took the ICE train and went first class back and forth. Five of us on this trip, Samuel and my adopted sister included. On the way back, we bumped into a friend who'd been to Dusseldorf.

So, she says. You travelled first class.

And she raises her eyebrows and teases me about being "sosyal".

The story of how we came to travel first class on second class price has to do with me trying to book a trip because we'd promised our lover of trains that we would give him a real trip across the border. Cologne seemed like a place that was reasonably close enough (about two hours of travel by ICE) and far enough away for him to get the idea that we were indeed in another country. I'd been checking out the NS site for cheap trips and this one came up at 38 euro a person. That's still about 160 euro in total, but that's just how life is, I thought and anyway we didn't have any plans to fly off to the Philippines this year.

Booking online is pretty easy and it seemed like the ideal way to go especially since it means I wouldn't have to pay the booking fee normally charged at the counter. Eventual adjustments to dates even got me a total price of 114 euro for the five of us. I was pretty happy about that until I found out that all the tickets in that price class were sold out and the next available one was close to 300 euro for the five of us.

What's the quibbling all about? Some folks might say.

For budget-conscious me, there's a huge difference between 114 and 300. Just compute. That's two driving lessons in the difference.

Anyway, the site went down and I ended up calling customer service. It was a blessing in disguise. The lady I spoke to listened to me. She understood my problem and my dilemma. She understood my desire to give the train enthusiast the perfect surprise and my need to stick to a budget, and she found us a trip that cost less than 150 euro. Add six euro to the deal and we all were travelling first class back and forth.

In my conversation with the lady, she first proposed a rate somewhere in the 300 euro region. I was honest and told her that 300 was way beyond my budget and so maybe we would just have to wait and save for another time. This resulted in her asking me if I'd be willing to let her look for time and day schedules where we'd get a reasonable price and still get to do some sightseeing in Cologne.

After a ten minute wait, she called me back. She had a date. Departure was rather early, and the return trip was on the late side, but she had found a date. If I added six euro to my budget we could all go first class both ways.

Yesterday, we were up before the sun. At 7.46 we were on the train, travelling first class all the way from our town to Utrecht where we got on the first class coach to Cologne.

I bless the lady who arranged that trip. The roominess in first class was ideal for travelling with a child approaching the toddler stage.

Whoever is in charge of the NS must hire real child-friendly personel. I mentioned Joel's train enthusiasm and it was like finding the key to a floodgate of kindness, accomodation and understanding. This is something I've noticed in my dealings with the Dutch. Whatever their shortcomings, the Dutch have a soft heart when it comes to kids.

It's this trait that keeps me hopeful.

2007-11-26T06:12:00.000-08:00

Just can't get over my luck at getting that couch.

The Madonna and Child painting on the wall is by artist, Boy Cornejo.

That's Kermit dangling from the lamp. He's lost one eye, but I still love him.

On the table, a carved wooden bowl from Banaue, Ifugao. I put some beautiful candles in it and circled the candles with pine cones, christmas balls and plastic leaves from the Philippines. It looks quite cozy with the candles burning.

some ideas for the holiday season

2007-11-26T01:27:00.001-08:00

1. When buying toys for children, looking at secondhand places like ebay or online shops might end up cheaper than buying them from a toystore. A good idea is to check out how much the toy would cost on the shelves and do some comparison online before purchasing the thing.

2. Buying during the sale season and keeping a reserve of gifts somewhere in the attic is a good idea. I have a friend who does this regularly and I've started to adopt this method. You'll be amazed at the savings. For instance, I remember buying a bag for five euro on sale, a few weeks later, the same bag was priced up to 25 euro. That's a savings of twenty euro.

3. If you're a handy person, arts and crafts are in this year. I have a friend who's really handy with the knitting needles and she makes this beautiful scarves that look like they've come out of some exclusive shop.

4. Continuing number three, if you're handy with the sewing machine, there are loads of things you can make. Back home, I had a friend who used to sew these carry-all bags. They're quite simple to make, it's just a matter of cutting out two rectangles sewing them together and attaching a handle. If you're extra creative, you can add beads and sequins to give the bag that extra bling.

5. Before you go on a buying rampage for holiday decor, check the decorations in storage. You might be buying something that you've already got or that you don't need. Be creative when arranging your decor. Try mixing pine cones with christmas balls in a wooden tray. They make a nice centerpiece for the table. Place tealights in glass holders and group them together in a tray. The glass holders don't even have to all be in the same color.

6. Look to nature for decorating ideas. A tip picked up from one of those home making magazines says to go for a walk in the forest and pick a beautifully shaped branch. Paint the branch in white or in whatever color you wish, place it against a contrasting background and hung some lights or christmas balls on it.

7. Consider buying an art bag and giving it away as a gift. It's for a good cause and costs only five euro per bag. ( for more info go to: http://www.stopaidsnow.nl)

8. Give practical presents. It's not necessary to give kids loads of toys as presents. Giving them something they need such as winter gloves, socks, pens or notebooks (not the electronic kind) will teach kids to value and appreciate whatever they get.

9. Give a gift of time or talent. One of the Dutch mothers showed me this set of little vouchers her daughters had given her for her birthday. Each voucher volunteered a service that would be granted when their mom handed in the voucher.

For instance: This voucher entitles the holder to an evening of babysitting (from name of giver)
or: This voucher entitles the recipient to a homecooked meal upon request (from name of giver)
and for the writers/poets among us: Perhaps a poem or a story written especially for the recipient would mean a lot more than something bought at a brandname store.

Be creative. There are tons of ideas floating in the ether. It's just a matter of catching hold of them ;)

2007-11-25T12:49:00.000-08:00

Samuel on our new couch with Papa's bass guitar...unplugged.

events and thoughts

2007-11-25T02:20:00.000-08:00

Our weekend's settling down and except for going to the birthday of our neighbour's son, there's little planned on the agenda today. A good thing as the entire week has been quite a bustle of trying to get things done and arranging for pickup of various goods.

Friday was really exciting as I travelled to The Hague with Samuel and met Crista Ermiya. Such a lovely lady and her boyfriend's such a nice guy. I really liked them a lot and I hope we'll continue to keep in touch.

From The Hague, I went on to Leiden where I met up with Jan who was returning home from his two week work-related trip in Czech Republic. Samuel was quite excited about seeing his Dad again. He had this look on his face that could easily be interpreted as saying: So, there you are. Where have you been all this time?

Something really sweet is how Jan's acquired the habit of "Pasalubong" buying. He came home with toys for the boys, chocolate for our good neighbour, and a book for me.

Saturday turned out to be one of the most hectic days of our lives together. There was no sleeping until late in the morning. We were both up at about seven o'clock, shoving furniture around and clearing a path for the arrival of our /new/ couch.

And what a couch it is. It's sitting in my living room, giving the room such a sumptuous and luxurious feel that I can't help turning around and staring at it again. Never mind that my ironing board's standing on one side of the room with baskets of clothes that need to be ironed...if you look towards the side of the room where the couch is...well...it just exudes that stepped out of the catalogue air.

Where it came from, they barely sat on it. I doubt that will be the case in this house ;) Joel's in absolute awe of the couch.

Lovely couch, Mom. He says.

But the couch wasn't the only thing that got picked up yesterday. Jan's been wanting to learn how to play the Bass Guitar and he managed to get himself a lovely Ibanez bass off of Marktplaats. He did have to travel quite a bit to pick it up, but he was still in time to pick up the space station I'd bought for Joel's Sinterklaas surprise.

Hence, the usefulness of planning and organizing trips ahead of time comes in handy.

Before we launched on this buying spree, we did set a budget. I had set a budget limit of 25o euro for a couch, Jan had set a limit of 150 for his bass guitar, and for the boys I'd set a limit of about 50 euro for presents.

We did spend 250 on the couch, but we got Jan's bass at 95 and Joel's present cost us 30. If I can arrange for the pickup of that cute little car for Samuel, that'll set me off another 10.

Being transparent about expenditure is important to this blog. The numbers are personalia, I know. Who needs to know how much a couch costs anyway?

My point is, sometimes we are so hung up on the cost of things. I remember this character I met at a party who somehow managed to drop hints about how expensive her shoes were or where she'd bought her coat (which gave you the idea that it was really expensive), and I remember sitting there with Samuel on my lap, feeling quite small while she fussed over another guest mom who was dressed to the nines and who had top of the line baby luggage with her.

What I loved about the dressed to the nines mom was how when the other lady said: Oh but your baby looks so nice. I bet you buy his clothes at (insert brandname) store.

The top of the nines mom said, No, I don't. I buy his clothes at the HEMA.

Which made me feel really warm and glowy towards the top of the nines mom and her no-nonsense, non-elitist attitude towards material things.

I think of how we're often pushed into purchasing something because of a need to prove our ability to buy. Sometimes, we are so busy with the "image" we project that we forget what's really important in life.

I sat there thinking of how what really matters isn't what others perceive of us. It's not "image" that counts in life, it's relationships and feeling good about yourself. As the Dutch say, "zit je lekker in je vel".

In the list of life's priorities, relationships come first. And for us, this means family and friends...and the necessary trips home in order to help our children understand that they are children of two cultures, and that's something money can't buy.

The World of Bidding and giftgiving

2007-11-23T00:51:00.000-08:00

December has got to be one of the most expensive months of the year. On the 5th of December, we celebrate Sinterklaas (Saint Nicholas's birthday). It's the day for surprises and giftgiving in The Netherlands. This is all preceded by about a week or two of letting the children set their shoe in front of the door or under the fireplace with them waking up in the morning to find a little present or some sweets in it. It can be pretty stressful for some kids as the presence of a present means they're in the Saint's good books, and the absence of a present means they're on the naughty list.

Enter, number one expense on the holiday list: Gifts.

Some parents go to the shops and spend outrageous amounts of cash on something they're kids will play with and then forget about. Joel's been dropping hints about what he would probably like for Sinterklaas, but I thought a nice surprise would be the best way to celebrate this season. So, off I went to search on my favorite shopping forum (marktplaats.nl). I was quite pleased to win the bidding on a Space Station lego set complete with sounds and lights. It's well within my budget, it's something I know Joel will love, and being LEGO, it inspires creativity and wild imagination. Add to this, it's a novelty as Joel has never seen this in any of the toyshops (a big plus). Who else but the good saint would bring something not available in NL shops?

Samuel's present is really nice. I still have to pick it up, but it's a cute little car with seating support that can be removed when he can stand on his own. There's also a sort of curved platform to place under the wheels of the car, which transforms it into a sort of seesaw. I can just imagine how delighted he'll be with this present. Jan laughed when I told him about it.

"I can just imagine him whizzing across the living room with a smile on his face," Jan says.

So, if I'm buying these things, how do I know I'm saving money on them? First of all, I browse shop catalogues and try to find out how much these items cost at new price. Then, when I look on marktplaats, I have an idea of what kind of item I am looking for, and I have a budget set inside my head so I don't get carried away by bidding and bid way above my budget. There's so much on offer at Marktplaats, that if I lose the bidding on an item, I can look again a couple of days later or a week later, and find something similar to that item.

So far, my experiences in buying via Marktplaats have been positive ones.

Looking at my budget table, I'm quite pleased to see that the boys' presents are well within my budget. Quite a far cry from the days when I used to blow a hundred euro on gifts for Joel Jan. How often do we mistake the value of the present as being representative of the love behind it?

This year hasn't been a year for buying huge presents, but I think this is the year where we've really sat around the table and laughed and talked. I have to smile thinking of how productive this year has been in terms of me telling Joel stories and Joel learning to tell his own stories.

We're a team, Joel says to me.

Yup, we are a team ;)

the writer's economics

2007-11-21T01:27:00.000-08:00

The fact is, that while we keep on writing and submitting work, the equation rarely balances out.
This year, due to the arrival of my baby boy, story production has been at an all time low since I started writing again in 2005.

Stats time:

Stories sent out this year: 9
Stories rejected: 3
Stories accepted: 3
Stories pending: 3
Poems submitted: 15
Poems accepted: 7

Not a bad equation. Considering how nine of my poetic memoir essays have been taken up in the book, Hope Away from Home, to be released by OMF Lit Philippines. My name appears for the first time on the cover of a book. Under the main author's name to be sure, but still it's on the front page. *glows*

Looking at the stats, I realize how badly I need to reorganize my files. Maybe I should start opening new folders with year dates on them. Except, when does one say a story's finished? Some of my stories started a year ago and ended this year.

Economics: The number of stories I actually got paid for is 2.

Moment of thanks: My thanks to Nanay whose insistence that I keep on at the Conservatory when I wanted to stop resulted in me having a sideline that supports my number one "bisyo" (books). My thanks to friends, e-friends, and loved ones.

Books acquired this year: about 20 (Yes Lily, one week won't be enough to read them all)

Subscription renewed: Interzone (the only sf mag I subscribe to. I might try Black Static or Asimov's next year. Sounds interesting, but I'll take out a sample copy first.) I'm also looking for a new mag to subscribe to next year. Preferably not of the specfic genre.

The truth about rejections is this: I've got three stories in circulation that I consider my best work, and so far, these are the stories garnering the most rejections. If the first story comes back, I'll be one short of ten rejections on it. And the second story has garnered 5, whereas the third has had three so far. I'm still quite hopeful though. So far the comments on these stories have been quite positive, they've mostly reached the final round of voting...so there must be something good about them or they wouldn't have gotten that far.

I'll be making up my christmas list soon. Hard to believe November's almost over. Good Lord, the Christmas rush will be upon us before we know it.

For the boys, I've decided to do my shopping on Marktplaats where I've spotted a space station lego set that's no longer available in the shops. Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping I can surprise my eldest with it.